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“What are you thinking?”
My gaze moves back to him, and I blink. “I’m wondering if there’s a way to work around the need for external access. I’m pretty sure that Mr. Harris is going to try to restrict me in whatever way he can, and using wards that prevent any sort of casting seems like something he would do.”
“That isn’t allowed in a trial,” Fielder says, still looking like a scary replica of the man in question. “In order to test your magic, you’d have to have access to it. They won’t stop you from casting.”
I sense there’s more to that statement, so I wait, with my head tilted. It’s Hardin that finishes the thought. “But they might try to limitwhatyou can access. For example, I couldn’t use my battle magic for most of it. They said it gave me an unfair advantage.”
I frown. “That doesn’t make any sense. If it’s your strongest power, why would they-” I cut off because I already know the answer.
The coven is full of assholes, and they want to keep everyone less powerful than them.
Hardin lifts a shoulder. “I still passed with flying colors, even without my battle magic, and it worked to my advantage because they have no fucking clue just how powerful I am. If I ever have to use it against them, they’ll be totally unprepared.”
My frown deepens. There is so much I don’t understand about this coven. If it were my coven, I would want to know exactly how powerful each member is, give them the tools to hone that power and become something more. I would want to know what I would be up against if the members ever decided that they wanted me out of power.
There are too many unanswered questions. And I don’t like it.
But I don’t have the time to get the answers I want.
I glance at the clock. “You guys should go.” The four coven witches drop their illusions and look at the clock as well. We’d decided this morning that they would return to Osprey Falls College this afternoon and do the research that my dramatic ejection from the portal denied them.
Only this time they’re going to also try to figure out why exactly I ended up where I did. If it was the Library, or maybe it was having Kohaku on me, or hell, maybe the protection spells layered over my skin kept me out.
Anyway, the hope is that they’ll find an answer and we’ll be able to visit this mythical library together. God, I hope that is the case. I’m dying not being able to get in, but I don’t want to risk ending up in the middle of the ocean just to test if the Library will let me in now.
Fielder runs a hand down his face and shakes his head. “I don’t feel good about leaving you here alone.”
I cock a brow and motion at Kohaku standing next to me. “I won’t be alone. You guys should see what you can learn. I’ll stay here and keep failing at doing this protection spell. It’ll be great.”
Cohen chuckles. “You’re going to get it, wildcard. When you do, I want you to move on to trying to cast using some apotropaic runes. It might be easier to start with that, actually. Maybe you need something to direct your magic through.”
I nod, like I know exactly what apotropaic means while pulling out my phone to Google the word. Hmm… protective symbols. “Yeah, that might be good. The first time I purposefully did an illusion, I used a brush with no makeup on it. It helped to direct the magic, like you said.”
Cohen tilts his head, considering, then moves to grab a pad of paper and a pen, which he brings over to me. “Use these and,” he snaps his fingers, and a book about runes and sacred geometry appears next to the book I’m supposed to be hiding using a protection spell. “That to make sigils. Create some of your own spells, find out what works for you.”
“She can’t just create her own spells,” Gideon protests, looking at me. “No offense, sweetheart, but you aren’t advanced enough for that.”
I frown at him. “Well, advanced enough or not, I’m going to try. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“Death, love,” Hardin says dryly. “Deathis the worst that can happen when you mess with magic you don’t have a solid understanding of.”
I swallow hard and glance at Cohen, giving him a shaky smile. “I’ll just keep trying to hide that book, shall I?”
Chapter 15
The next few days are a routine. Wake up, breakfast, practice magic together, lunch, the boys leave me alone with Kohaku to go to the Library while I work on mastering whatever they’ve set for me to learn, dinner, more training.
By the time I fall into bed at night, I’m exhausted and defeated.
I’m making progress, but not nearly enough. I need to be better at casting. As the days tick down with my trial looming on the horizon, I start to feel that need more and more intensely. Nothing I do is enough, not a single spell learned and mastered is enough. I’ve never been so frustrated while mastering a new skill.
A week passes. I have four days until my trial and I’ve only managed to scratch the surface of what I need to know. I have this overwhelming, hopeless feeling, like everything I’ve shoved into my brain, and each spell I’ve become passably good at will never be enough.
Maybe Cohen is right, and I need to use sigils in order to direct the flow of magic. I glance over at the book he’d provided, stacked neatly on top of my notebook.
“I mean, it can’t really get much worse than it is, right?” I mumble to myself. Kohaku left about thirty minutes ago, turning into his fox kitsune form to wander around the woods and “make sure the area is safe,” but I suspect he was really just tired of listening to me get frustrated at myself.
Puffing out a breath, I grab the book and paper and plop down on the couch, flipping through the book until I find the section on protection sigils. If I’m going to do this, I’m certainly not going to try an offensive spell. Defense seems safer.
