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I know the other guys are behind me, and I know they want to talk about what the hell happened there. But I need this. I need this after not getting any affection at all from my dad.
My kitsune isn’t in any rush either. His lips press kiss after kiss into my hair, onto my forehead, while his hands continue their easy sweep up and down. It’s only when Cohen says hesitantly, “I hate to be the one to do this, wildcard, but if they sent someone after you, we should probably move.”
I sigh and rub my face back and forth, like that’s going to stop them from seeing the evidence of my silent tears when I turn back around. Yeah, that’s another thing Kohaku did, let me soak his shirt in tears
Holy penguins, I’m glad I got such a sweet umbra demon.
But now it’s time to face reality.
I sigh as I turn around, facing the five witches who are all watching me carefully. “We don’t need to go anywhere.”
Fielder’s brows drop. “What do you mean, Sweeney?”
I stay close to Kohaku, leaning back against his chest as his arms remain around me. “I mean, I’m going to let them take me.”
Gideon shakes his head while Cohen curses. “Rosalind, we can leave. We can tell them they’re going to have to wait.”
Oh, so now they’re all about not trying to force me into this? Now they want to give me the choice? “I don’t think it’s going to matter. They won’t stop. I don’t particularly feel like running for the foreseeable future. Thanks to my dad, I feel more confident in my ability to pass the trials. Once I’m done with that and proven I’m strong enough to be a part of your dumb coven, I can go back to being unimportant to them, right?” It’s a lie. Now that I know the history, now that I know who I am at my core, I know they will never leave me alone, not if they know too.
“Don’t you ever bloody say you’re unimportant, love,” Hardin growls at me, taking one step forward.
I ignore the warning in his voice and keep my gaze focused on Fielder. “It’s what you want, right? For me to become part of your coven.”
I can feel Cohen’s eyes burning into me. He hates this as much as I do. I have the added knowledge that I will not simply be left alone once this is over. If I survive the trials that I know are a farce designed to try to kill me, just like they’ve tried to kill my entire family. The threat on my life will still never cease. So long as the current elders are in control of the coven, I will be at risk.
My best bet for survival isn’t to run or go to war with them. It’s sabotage. Bring them down from the inside. In order to do that, I have to actuallybeon the inside.
I won’t let them take anything from me or my family again.
Not one of them looks convinced, and I shouldn’t be surprised. I railed against this from the beginning. Let them know in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t thrilled to join a coven that wants me dead, and I’m still not thrilled with it. Who in their right mind would be?
But I recognize the need to adapt.
And there is no law that states that I have to remain in the coven once I’m accepted. They must have members who gracefully bow out. I’ll just be one of them, or I’ll take their whole damn organization down piece by fucking piece.
Kohaku’s chin comes to a rest on my shoulder, his lips pressing into the tender spot just behind my ear.
“If our woman wants to do this, then we should not stand in her way,” he states plainly. I try to ignore the way my heart flutters when he saysour woman. He is unfailing in understanding what I need. Maybe it’s unfair because he’s bound to me, but I hadn’t realized just how much I’d been missing having someone that supports me in all things.
It’s such a battle with everyone else, that having his unquestioned support is like a breath of fresh air, a reprieve.
Fielder runs a hand down his face. “You can’t expect us to just accept this change, Sweeney. You’ve been against this from the beginning, and now you expect us to just be okay with your sudden change of heart?” His green eyes meet mine. “What did your father tell you before we joined the conversation? Why are you okay with this now?”
I shake my head. “It was a private conversation, Harris. I’m not going to tell you everything. Or anything, for that matter.”
He looks like he wants to argue. His mouth drops open, and his eyes narrow into little points of stubbornness. But then Gideon claps a hand on his shoulder and gives a squeeze.
“If Rosalind wants to keep her conversation with her father private, we can’t make her tell us, Fielder. That’s her business.”
I give him a grateful smile before looking back at the blond man in front of me. “Look, I’m still processing seeing my dad for the first time in ten years. After he nearly killed me. When I’ve had time to do that, I’ll let you know if there’s anything of relevance to this situation.”
His eyes narrow even further, and I know he knows that I’m keeping something of relevance from them right now. Namely, why his coven wants me dead. He’s too observant for his own good.
I’m bracing for him to push this, to tell me that in order to help keep me safe he needs to know what the hell we’re up against, and if he pushes, I’ll probably cave.
But then Kohaku’s head shoots up at the same time that Hardin tenses, and Cohen swears. “They’re close,” my kitsune murmurs, arms tightening around me.
I don’t have to ask who he means. We all already know.
