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“Sounds far better than mine. I spent most of it looking through job advertisements. When I say there is nothing out there, I really mean it. I just felt miserable by the end of it all.”
“You’re thinking of leaving escorting?” Caroline spoke low, aware that Eva may not want people to know what was going on here. “I know you said you didn’t see your future doing this, but so soon?”
Eva cocked her head. “You seem saddened by that, Caz.”
“Well, I suppose part of me is. I enjoy spending time with you. Even if the first time around didn’t end very well. But that was entirely on me. I hope you know that.”
“Just because I wouldn’t be doing this anymore, it doesn’t mean we can’t see one another.”
Caroline focused on the glass of wine that had just been placed in front of her. Eva would still want to see her without payment. But…why? “You’d be far too busy with a new job.”
“I could make time.”
“Eva, that’s really sweet, but—”
“Please, call me Hannah.”
Caroline’s brows drew together, her skin tingling as Hannah pinned her with her stare. She seemed different tonight. Less…escort-like. “What’s going on here?” Caroline asked, clearing her throat. “I don’t understand.”
“Nothing is going on. As I said, I feel more like myself around you. But if it makes you uncomfortable, we can stick with the arrangement in place.”
“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable. Actually, it makes me more comfortable. But I don’t understand why you’d want to see me outside of your work.”
Hannah lifted a shoulder. “I told you on Friday that I meant everything I’d said to you, Caz. While you may not believe that, I can’t change it.”
Caroline opened her mouth, but the server arrived to take them to their table. Did she want to hear Hannah saying those things to her? Of course she did. She would be completely out of her mind tonotwant it. But was it a good idea to enjoy this woman how Caroline knew she wanted to? No, it wasn’t.
As they sat facing one another, Caroline noted the blush that had crept onto Hannah’s cheeks. It was satisfying, Caroline hadn’t believed she could be in this position again, but it couldn’t mean anything. At least, not right now. Hannah was an escort for the foreseeable future, and Caroline couldn’t change that.
“Hannah,” Caroline spoke low, needing to get this right. “I…know this is probably a terrible thing to say, but if you’re expecting us to date, I can’t. Not with you.”
“I know.” Hannah cast her gaze to the menu, a slight shake of her head as she took the corner of her lip between her teeth. “But for a moment or two, it was a nice thought.”
Caroline reached a hand across the table, placing it over Hannah’s. The warmth of her skin spread through Caroline like wildfire, and as Hannah looked up into Caroline’s eyes, time stood still. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m aware that I’m not in a position to date. You deserve far better than someone like me. Someone who is paid by a multitude of women.”
“My life is all over the place.Youdeserve more than that.”
Hannah cocked her head a little. “You’ve had a rough time, haven’t you?”
“Nothing I can’t get over.”
“Well, when you feel ready, I know you’re going to fall head over heels in love with someone who makes you happy. I knew it the moment we met. You just have that something about you.”
Caroline was the one to blush this time. Hannah really knew the right thing to say.
“And I’d like to think that maybe down the line, I could take you out on a real date, but you and I both know that this is exactly just this. Company, so neither of us is alone.”
Wow. That hurt. But Hannah wasn’t wrong. Not really.
Caroline squeezed her hand and pulled away before their conversation could get too deep. “Let’s order some food.”
* * *
Hannah fumbledwith the napkin in her lap, sitting as calmly as she could while Caroline was using the bathroom. She hadn’t intended to come here this evening and say the things she had to Caroline, but it had fallen so effortlessly from her mouth as she watched Caroline just inches away from her. Hannah didn’t want to feel this way, the thought of longing for a woman she couldn’t have was only going to break her heart, but Caroline was so easy to talk to. So beautiful to look at. So…
“Are you having dessert?” Caroline touched Hannah’s shoulder lightly as she passed her by.
