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I feel so fucking sick, nausea pushes against my seams, leaving no room for other feelings, like relief.
“You killed him for me?”
He looks at me quickly. “No.”
I let out a tense breath.
“I killed his brother for you. And then I killed Martin because he’d have come to the Coast to kill me.” He fills up his glass with more vodka, pausing thoughtfully before taking a sip. “Actually, yeah. I killed him for you too.”
“Why?”
“Didn’t like the idea of another man putting his hands around your throat,” he says dryly.
I grit my teeth, digging my nails into my palms. “I set fire to his casino.”
“Semantics.”
I turn away, because I can’t stand the way he’s looking at me.
“You think I’m bad luck.” I drag a hand down my face. “You don’t evenknowme.”
His laugh is louder this time, tinged with something ironic. “You have no fucking idea what I know.”
We stand there for a few minutes. Him at the bar cart, me glaring at the clock on the mantel. Everytickstrikes inside my rib cage, as if counting down to the moment my heart cracks in half.
I’ll never let it happen. Never let this man within arms-reach of my heart. Because this is what men do, isn’t it? They’re nice to you, until they aren’t. Until you stop giving them what they want, and then they turn nasty. And then they drag you out to an alleyway and take what they wanted from you anyway.
My necklace sizzles against my clammy skin. Of all the times to think of Matt, it isn’t now, but he pops into my head anyway.You’ve got to be clear with your intentions from the beginning.
Rolling back my shoulders and galvanizing my spine, I walk over to Rafe. He watches my approach with a mix of wariness and annoyance, tensing when I step into his hot, wet orbit.
I’m so close his liquor-tinged breath grazes my nose. My nipples glide over his chest through my T-shirt, hardening at the idea of friction.
His gaze falls to mine, melting like the ice in his drink. “Penny…”
There go those busted knuckles with a feather-light touch, skimming over my cheekbone. I turn my head a fraction, because I know what comes next: the silky Italian wrapped around callous words. I don’t want the contradictions.
I just want all of the bad and none of the good.
Swallowing in an attempt to slow my pulse, I turn my attention to his chest. We both watch my trembling fingers as I slide them over the serpent’s head, down the length of playing cards, dice, poker chips. The walls of his stomach clench when I skim south of his navel and to the fold of his towel.
I lift my eyes to his. He searches them, and then his expression cools with realization.
He lets out a humorless laugh. “That’s all you want, huh?”
“It’s all we agreed on.”
His eyes singe like burning embers when I tug the towel. The fabric hitting the carpet sounds so loud, sofinal.Like a signal warning me that, now, there’s no going back.
Before I have time to think, he grips my neck, sliding his fingers around the base of my braid. He pulls my face to his; I’m so close to his lips that for the small price of a million dollars, I could taste his last sip of vodka.
He holds me there for what feels like minutes, but can only be seconds. His jaw ticks like the clock on the mantel; his heart beats slower than my own. When I glance toward the bed, it’s only because I need a breather from his suffocating glare, but by the way he laughs again, I realize he interprets it as a hint.
He thinks I want him to hurry up and fuck me.
With a curt nod, he releases me and steps aside. Every inch of my body trembles as I walk toward the bed and climb it on my knees.
Behind me, the bed dips with my heart. I drop to my forearms and bury my head in the pillow, as if the tension can’t touch me down here. When Rafe’s thighs press against my own and his dick grazes my ass, I squeeze my eyes shut, expecting the heat of his hands to sear my skin.
