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The carpenters were finally done with the cabinets and all the appliances were now installed. The last thing was to start staging. I loved this part. I started with unboxing all the dishes and utensils, then I moved on to unboxing any pots and pans housed in the lower cabinets. After that, I went on to organize the pantry. It wasn’t long before I was at the good part, getting the counters prepared and staged for the family to examine. I added the final touches right before Chris walked in the door with Natasha. The young girl ran to the kitchen and screamed with excitement in response to the new kitchen. “Daddy! Daddy! Come look at our new kitchen! I love it!” She ran over and hugged my waist tightly with your thin arms.
Just then Chris walked into the kitchen and looked at his daughter. His expression softened when he realized how much she loved the new look. I was a bit worried she would think I was trying to erase her mom and he had to have had the same concerns. Seeing her reaction melted my heart and made me even more confident the art room renovation would make her happy. “Wow, I wasn’t sure if this kitchen could look better than it did before. Nice job, Sam.”
A compliment? Now that was a first. “Thanks, Chris. I’m glad you like it.”
He walked around admiring the different elements I added and even opened the cabinets to see what surprises he could find tucked away behind the cabinet doors. It was obvious he was a stranger in the kitchen. I changed the cabinets to an all-white shaker style for the upper and lowers. The counter tops were now a speckled white marble. I off set all the bright white colors with an oversized dark blue island that matched the marble counter tops everywhere else. The seating for the countertops were a dinner inspired feel. All the stools were black and perfectly complimented the island. The final touch was the backsplash. I chose a tear dropped white sheet tile that went from counter to ceiling that magnified the grandeur of the room and high ceilings.
“Sam, can you stay for dinner?” Natasha’s question surprised both of us.
I started to stutter, not sure what to say to her request. “I … I am not sure. What is for dinner?”
Chris quickly jumped in to save me. “Sam may already have plans, sweetheart.”
But Natasha was not going to give up so easily, “Do you have plans, Sam?”
My eyes darted back and forth between Chris and Natasha. I was trying to gauge his response to the request before answering. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking so I played it safe. “As a matter of fact, I do. I have plans to meet with my sister tonight. She is one of the most special people in the world to me, after you of course. I would have to cancel and that would make her very sad. But how about I take a rain check?”
Natasha’s eyes narrowed. “Rain check? What is that?”
“That’s when I take your invitation, tuck it in my pocket, and use it another day.”
Her eyes lit up. “Okay! Yes, you can take a rain check. Daddy, Sam is going to use her rain check one day next week so we have to plan something extra special.”
Chris smiled. He was even more handsome when he smiled. I couldn’t help but think about what a child with him would look like. Then I started imagining if having a family with him was possible. Okay… time for me to get out of here. I’m losing my composure again. “I’m going to leave you both to enjoy your new space. Goodnight.”
Natasha ran back to me and gave me another big hug. This time she looked up with the biggest, brightest smile and simply said, “I love you, Sam.”
Chris’s head whipped around. He was knee-deep in the lower cabinet under the range. “Well, I love you too, Ms. Natasha Brooks.” I returned her hug and after about forty seconds broke our embrace. I could tell she wanted to stand frozen at that moment a bit longer, but my response made her happy and she moved on to surveying all the cool changes in the kitchen.
“Sam, do you mind if I walk you to your car?” Chris seemed kind and thoughtful.
“No, not at all.” I was now curious: What did he want to tell me? We both walked in silence until we were outside and out of earshot of Natasha. “Thank you for that,” he said. “I haven’t seen her this happy in months. You are really good with her.”
“No problem at all. She’s easy to adore and I did mean what I said—I do love her. It’s kinda hard not to.” My response made him smile. “Good night, enjoy your new kitchen. I’ll see you tomorrow.” As I walked to my car, I could feel his eyes burning a hole in my back.
* * *
This wasthe moment of truth; my period did not start as planned. I had to know if I was pregnant or not. I opened the box and opened one of the two tests inside. I peed on the stick and placed it on the counter to wait for the test to do its thing. As I sat on the toilet, I found comfort in knowing that Natasha would be my baby’s sister if I was pregnant. She would be a great big sister. I was imagining a happy family and that’s when I realized I was penciling myself into this man’s life.
I thought about taking the morning after pill but I didn’t feel comfortable using this as a means for birth control. I have always wanted to be a mom and even if it was not the ideal time or situation, if I am pregnant; it is still my baby. I would make it work.
My phone rang, and I welcomed the distraction. I walked out of my bathroom to put some distance between myself and the pregnancy test. It was Lizzie. “Hey, sis, how is it going?”
“It’s going fine, what’s up?”
Lizzie did not pause or even bothered with pleasantries, “Nothing, just checking on you. I haven’t seen any pictures of your project. Aren’t you close to wrapping up?”
Damn, she was right. I usually bombarded her phone with pictures. I had not done that at all since starting at the ranch. “My bad, I will send some pictures tomorrow.”
“You sound distracted, Sam, everything good with you?”
“Yep, all good. Just tired. Can I call you tomorrow?”
“Sure.” Lizzie hung up and I ran back to the bathroom to check my pregnancy test.
As I walked into the bathroom, I went straight for the test on the corner of the sink, my eyes immediately started to fill with tears. This was bittersweet. The test said,pregnant - yes.
What was I going to do now?
