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Leah nodded with a sad smile. "I wish my father was of the same opinion. But he is not. He is afraid that I have too much of my mother in me, and that by behaving like her, something terrible might happen to me, just like it happened to her. That is why he has always kept me away from her things, hoping that I would forget how to be curious about the world, like she was."
"That is not fair," Edward told her. "He should be glad that your mother's spirit lives on in you, her daughter."
Leah kept shaking her head. "He doesn't see it like that at all. After Mother died, he blamed himself. He thought that he allowed her all these things and that she got herself into trouble. He thinks if he kept her at home, by his side, she would still be with us."
The thought of her mother still alive and well, waiting for her at home, made Leah incredibly sad. She had accepted the fact that her mother was gone, but sometimes, this realization was more painful than before, almost as if she was learning it for the first time.
"Do you think that is true?" Edward asked.
"No," Leah was certain of her answer. "If he tried to control her, Mother would have found a way around it. It was who she was. Untamable. She always wanted to do things her way, and once she set her mind on something, there was no force on Earth that could stop her."
Edward grinned. "That remind me of someone."
Leah smiled, blushing slightly. "If there is any place here that you think your parents could have hidden a clue, you can look for it," she instructed.
"What about you?"
"I am going to visit Father tomorrow," Leah announced. "Well, that will be my excuse anyway. He is usually gone on Thursday afternoons, spending them with his two best friends at White's. They always stay there at least three, four hours, drinking and reminiscing. That will give me enough time to go through our library and maybe even snoop a little through Father's study."
"Are you sure that is a good idea?" Edward sounded concerned. "After all, you said your father did not like the idea of you looking into your mother's death. Perhaps I should accompany you, just in case."
She almost accepted his offer. She wanted to, but she knew it was a better idea to go on her own. In case her father returned home earlier, she would be able to come up with an excuse on the spot.
"I need you to stay here and look for clues you might have overseen," she urged.
"I thought I had searched everywhere," he said. "But it turns out I was wrong."
"Always remember that two heads are better than one," she smiled. "And sometimes, luck just favors you, that is all."
He chuckled. "What were the odds of knocking down exactly the book we needed to find?"
"What are the odds indeed," she smiled back.
Thin strips of the morning sunlight were starting to ooze through the window. She glanced in that direction. She didn't even know how tired she was, until she realized how late it was. Better yet, how early.
"Perhaps we ought to rest a little now," she suggested. "Tomorrow is a big day."
"Today, you mean," he corrected her.
"Today," she agreed with the correction.
She walked over to him, stood right in front of him and gave him a chaste peck on the lips. "Good night," she whispered, before she turned around and walked out of the library, heading to her chamber.
Her heart danced, demanding more closeness, more physical touch, but she knew that it was over for this evening. An invisible hand was guiding them, bringing them here and showing them exactly what they needed to see.
Now, they had to be patient. There was still so much more to be discovered.
CHAPTER18
Leah felt strange being in her home without her father. It felt like it wasn't her home any longer. In fact, it wasn't. Her new home was with Edward. But this was where she was born. This was where all her memories were. Only, without her mother there, it was nothing but a Manor consisting of four big walls and numerous chambers inside of it. That was all.
She greeted the servants cordially, including the butler who was surprised that she had forgotten about her father's usual Thursday afternoon engagement. She slapped her forehead theatrically, excusing her own forgetfulness, and claiming that while she was here, she would grab a few of her favorite books from the library and take them back with her. The old butler, who had known her ever since she was a little baby, saw nothing wrong with that. He suggested that some tea be brought up to her while she was looking, for which she thanked him graciously.
Leah entered the library and closed the door behind her. She inhaled the stale scent of books, the place where she spent so many careless afternoons, sitting by the open window and reading, together with her mother. It was one of those rare, precious moments when her mother was only in the planning stage and not in the action stage of her next mission. Leah loved that she was able to be a part of all that. She felt like she, along with her mother, was making the world a better place. When her mother died, she could not imagine that there were people who thought what her mother was doing was wrong.
Burdened by a bittersweet feeling, Leah set out to work. She took each and every book from the shelf, and looked through its contents, in search of something that might prove to be a clue and point them in the right direction. little by little, time went by. Leah had no idea whether it had been hours or mere minutes, but when she looked upon the pile of books she had cleared, she knew she had to have been there at least an hour.
Suddenly, she heard someone opening the door. She thought instantly that it was one of the servants who had forgotten all about the tea that she was supposed to bring to Leah. She didn't mind. She wasn't in the mood for tea anyway. It would only slow her down and she still had half of the library to go through.
