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“Come on, Dayna, or is it Dayna Bug now? You kind of blindsided me.”
Twisting in his arms, I tucked my legs to the side so that I was facing him. “Josh, you have nothing to worry about. Carson is a friend.”
It was only a tiny lie, but I didn’t want to alienate Josh any more than I already had. And truth be told, I didn’t know how to explain what Carson and I shared.
It was… complicated.
“He looked more than just a friend to me.”
“There’s history there, yes, but not the way you’re thinking.” I hesitated, a heavy weight plunking in my chest. “He was my brother’s best friend.”
“Oh.” Josh rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes looking anywhere but at me.
“Hey, hey.” I slid a hand to his jaw, gripping gently. “I should have told you, but I knew you’d be weirded out by it. Carson is a friend, nothing more. I promise you have nothing to worry about.”
Josh wound his arm around my waist and pulled me close, sealing his lips over mine. It was nice, comfortable. Kissing Josh was like riding the Ferris Wheel at the fairground. Smooth and steady. Pleasant. But it didn’t get my heart racing.
He shifted, drawing me closer, his other hand gliding down my body. I snatched his wrist. “Josh, we can’t. My parents are still awake.”
He touched his head to mine, drawing in a ragged breath. “You can’t keep doing this to me.”
“Doing what?” I pulled away and frowned.
“You started it,Bug.”
A strained laugh escaped my lips. “Please, no bug talk.”
He shrugged his shoulders, but I could see the dejection in his eyes. “Too much, huh?”
“It’s just a dumb nickname.” I leaned in and kissed him again. “Give Carson a chance for me? He’s my friend. You’re my boyfriend. I might hug him, but that’s it. He doesn’t get the rest of me. You do, okay?”
“Do I?”
“You know you do.” Josh’s eyes started to drop, but I gripped the collar of his polo shirt, forcing him to look at me. “Hey, okay?”
“Maybe you should show me.” He grinned, and his tone was light, but his words did something funny to my insides. Not in the way they were supposed to though.
He must have noticed my smile slip because he quickly added, “Shit, that came out all wrong. I didn’t mean it. Crap, Dayna, you know I’ll wait until you’re ready.”
“I know.” I pecked him again, brushing it off. “I should go up to my room before Dad comes and checks on us. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
Josh pouted, his cute puppy dog eyes making me feel a tad guilty for leaving. “I love you, Dayna; you know that, right?”
“I know. I love you too. Sleep tight.” I blew him a kiss and walked to the door, closing it behind me. It clicked shut, but I didn’t move. I needed a second to catch my breath. I knew Josh didn’t mean anything by his flippant remark, but it didn’t change the fact we still hadn’t had sex.
At first, it was because I was nervous, inexperienced. Now, eight months later, I was just stalling. He knew it. I knew it. And I was pretty sure our small group of college friends knew it. But it was a big step for me, and I wanted to be one hundred and ten percent sure before we did it.
Because ninety-nine percent just didn’t seem good enough.
CHAPTER3
DAYNA
“Did you two have fun today?”Mom asked, ushering us up to the breakfast counter.
“We did,” I said, helping myself to one of her special recipe chili-cheese coneys. “We visited the beach and checked out the Marblehead Lighthouse; then we got lunch at Clams.”
“Sounds very romantic,” she beamed.
