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At the age of eight, I assumed the role because my father couldn’t handle my siblings and his company. I had to learn how to brush Myka’s hair when she threatened to cut it short so she didn’t have to deal with it. Dad was a good father, but sometimes he didn’t have the patience for us.
Everyone in the family complains about my schedules, but I had to learn to create one so Dad could drive us to our activities and be there during games and recitals.
Why do I want to deal with children again?
Is that why she left?
And what am I supposed to do if it’s true?
If we’re expecting a child… I can barely breathe as anxiety clogs my airways. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. It happened to my father. He knocked up a selfish woman who made his life impossible. The same woman who tries to fuck with mine when she needs money.
Should I just pay Siobhan off and disappear from her life?
But Siobhan is not selfish. She’s loving, caring, and… just the mere thought of never seeing her again increases the apprehension squeezing my chest. I can’t not see her again. But we agreed this wouldn’t be more than amicable companionship.
We had an expiration date.
It was over last weekend.
Then, if it’s over, why are you here, idiot? Why do you keep thinking about her?
Why is it that you’re unable to breathe since you left her at the bed and breakfast?
And it hits me like thunder, striking me all at once and shocking my entire system. I’m in love with Siobhan Walters.
It was me who couldn’t stick to the plan.
I’m breathless as I realize how reckless I was.
I let my walls down.
It was those blue eyes, her heart.
Her passion.
She became my home, and that’s exactly why I’m so fucking unhinged and restless.
But I still don’t know if I can offer what she deserves or if she would even consider giving me a second glance. For almost three years, I insisted our companionship was based on sex and nothing else. I told her time and again that I would never be with anyone.
I… rejected the child she might be carrying in the cruelest way possible. I rest my head on my hands, pressing it, wanting to push the pain away. I’m so fucking stupid.
What am I supposed to do?
* * *
After an almost two-hour drive from the airport, the car stops in front of an old three-level house. Is this where her family lives?
When I ring the bell, a thin woman wearing a scarf on her head opens and gasps. “Listen, we made a payment last night. I know that doesn’t cover all the backed-up months, but you can’t just kick me out of the house. Where’s the eviction notice and… We have a lawyer if your bank—”
I lift my palm, waving it as if saying, please stop. “I think you’re confusing me with someone else,” I stop her before she continues ranting.
Her gaze narrows. “You’re not here to kick us out of the house.”
I shake my head, wondering who she is and if I’m in the right place. Before I ask for Siobhan, I want to assure her that no matter what happens, no one will take her away from her house.
“No, but it’d be illegal to evict you while you’re undergoing treatment. If you need a lawyer, I can help you with it.”
She sighs with relief but then quirks a brow, giving me a suspicious glare. “Why are you offering? You don’t even know me.”
