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“I can’t,” she says, but her stomach rumbles.
“Your body disagrees.”
“I have to study.”
“Good thing that this restaurant allows you to bring your books inside. I heard some campus eateries have a book ban.”
“Really? Which ones?”
I stop and pinch her cheek. “Kitten, you are adorable. I was being sarcastic. Even gunners like you have to eat. I’ll order and cook your meat and veggies while you pour over your assignments. After we stuff ourselves full of broth, noodles, and dumplings, we’ll get an order of donut holes to go and head back to my room where I’ll watchThe Officeon mute and you study. When you’re done studying, I’ll give you a massage. We’ll make out a little and then go to bed.”
“You think you have it all worked out, don’t you? But put yourself in my shoes. I’m a scholarship student. I can barely afford the used books. Let’s say you are being totally sincere, and you are taken with me—which I don’t fully understand—I can’t allow myself to be swept up by you. There’s no guarantee in this life, and you can’t make a promise to me right now, a week after we met. If things were different, maybe I could take a chance with you, but I have too much at stake.” Regret pours out of her, and the sadness in her eyes drives home the realness of her words. She’s not saying this to put me off but because she believes she can’t take a risk on me.
“So, hot pot?”
A small laugh of disbelief spills out of her. “Didn’t you hear what I said?”
“Autumn, I heard every word, but you still need to eat.” I’m going to have to prove myself to her, in actions and deeds, since words don’t move her. “Let’s go. I’m starving.”
CHAPTER10
AUTUMN
“You don’t always haveto walk me back to my dorm,” I tell Noble. He’s got his arm thrown over my shoulder. He’s always touching me in some way, but it never goes far. A few brushes of his hand here or there.
In fact, he hasn’t kissed me since our one and only kiss over a week ago. It’s irritating me, which I know is irrational considering I’m the one that made it a point to tell him I don’t like to be touched. The only one I should be upset with is myself.
“Yes, I do. It’s night out.”
“When has that made a difference?” I laugh. It could be the middle of the day and he’d insist on walking me back to my dorm. “Besides this place is lit up.” They keep the campus well lit. There is always security walking around too.
“I walk you home.” His voice is sterner this time. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling.
Noble is always so sweet and considerate that when he has these assertive moments, they make my insides light up. They should probably have the opposite effect on me, but I can’t help how my body reacts to him.
Again, it’s irrational. I don’t want anyone bossing me around, but I think with Noble it comes from a place of care and concern. Sometimes I wish it came from a place of dirty dominance, but that’s likely me reading too many of those over-the-top romance books. I’ve always been drawn to that but stuffed it deep down inside of me, never thinking that there would be a safe place for that. Noble is trying to prove otherwise. He’s making me trust him in a way I’ve never trusted anyone.
“Fine, you walk me home.” I give because I would be disappointed if he didn’t. Over the last week, any time Noble or I aren’t in a class we’re together up until I go back to my dorm.
With all his small touches and always being around, there has to be some kind of romantic feelings on his side. He made it clear early on that there were, but I’m worried we’ve slipped into some friend-zone. Which is part of my irrational irritation.
I told Noble I didn’t have time for a relationship or flings and now he’s giving me friendship? Yeah, I don’t want that either. I’m questioning myself now. I have no clue what I want, but the more time I spend with Noble, the more I hate it when I have to leave his side.
“You want a chocolate muffin or croissant tomorrow?” It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him he doesn’t need to bring me food, but it’s pointless.
“Surprise me.” He drops his arm from around my shoulder as we enter my dorm building. He insists on walking me up to my floor.
“See you in the morning, Kitten.” He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear. I stare up at him, my eyes dropping to his mouth. He leans down, and I close my eyes. Then I feel his lips brush my forehead. “Night.”
“Night,” I mumble, opening the door to my floor.
Frustrated, I jam my key into my door and fling it open. I freeze when I see my roommate Renee straddling her boyfriend. The two of them are making out. Thankfully, they still have their clothes on. They both glance my way. Renee slips off Nathan’s lap.
“I need to shower,” Renee says, grabbing her bathroom bag. She’s pretty, with black shiny hair and legs for days. If she wasn’t a major bitch, I’d say she’s way out of Nathan’s league. “Nathan is staying over,” she says as she approaches me.
“That’s against the rules.”
“Only if you’re a snitch. Don’t be a prude. He’s moving, and his new place isn't ready for a few days.” She bumps my shoulder, walking past me and out our door, leaving me alone with her boyfriend.
