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"Part."
"A breed?" Josh frowned again.
Katherine stared at her brother in horror. "He's a man, that's all. From this moment on, words like breed are not a part of
us, Josh."
Josh stared for a long moment and then nodded. Something in his expression looked sad. She didn't understand that sadness, but she put it away from her.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Joshua straightened and wiped at his eyes.
"What happened to Mr. Bowlins?"
"One of the soldiers shot him when they moved toward me. He tried to help me."
"Damn. I always liked that old man. I like him even more now. I buried him proper, over there." He nodded toward his parents graves. Both their heads turned at once, and then bent. The tiny graves of their sisters were enough to make anyone cry.
Katherine had forgotten about Mr. Bowlins. It was no wonder Joshua hadn't finished the task.
"Good. We should say a few words over him." Katherine sighed heavily. "It's the Christian thing to do."
"Are we Christians?" He asked childlike then explained, "I mean, after all that we've seen and done, and said..."
"'Course we are." She glanced at him with compassion. "We believe in God, don't we? We'll ask forgiveness of our sins. God knows what we've been through. He understands."
"I guess."
"Jesus died for our sins, Joshua, Mama read to us from the Bible all the time. Don't you remember any of it?"
"I was younger, then."
She nodded, "Look, there's nothing to be ashamed of. And we'll confess aloud." She nodded. "Mama raised us to be God fearin' and that's what we are, Joshua."
"I don't know no words to say." Joshua looked confused.
"It don't matter, I do. Come on. He deserves something."
They both moved together toward the gravesite. Katherine held Joshua's arm tightly as they neared as though hanging on to the last thread of sanity left.
After a moment of quiet, Katherine looked at the graves, then at her brother.
"Lord," she murmured toward the cloudless sky. "Some good people died here. Hard workin', God fearin' people. Take note of it. I don't know lovely words to say, but I reckon you do. I'd appreciate your help. Me and Joshua we have work to do. So we'll lay it in your hands. Forgive us for what we had to do. And thanks. God rest their souls, Amen."
"Amen."
They stood there in the late afternoon sun as though totally unaware of the heat of the day. Too tired to move.
"Let's get on with it," Katherine said finally able to move again.
As Joshua hurried scattering the hay about the barn, Katherine went inside. After starting supper, she went into the bedroom to check on the scout.
He was sleeping. Some of the cover slipped off his chest exposing him to her again. Funny, but as she had worked to pull the bullet from him, she forced herself not to notice him. That was no longer the case. She felt drawn to him, as though he and he alone held some sort of key to her life existence. She felt an unknown strength in just being with him. She didn't understand it, but she didn't question it either.
Strange, unwanted feelings swamped Katherine. She tried to tell herself it was because he helped her that she was feeling this urge to be close to him. Yet, somehow she knew it went deeper. He was the man from her dream and it had to mean something. Her eyes swept over him. Something deep within her stirred to life. Never had such a feeling come upon her. It scared her, yet it somehow comforted her. She was still human, after all.
His chest gleamed a golden brown. He had muscles bulging from his arms and his broad chest tapered to a slim waist and hips.
She pulled the quilt up over him again and started to move away, but his hand reached for hers and wouldn't let go. He wasn't conscious, but he wouldn't let go. His color looked good. She felt his forehead noting a fever coming up. Panic boiled in the pit of her stomach. Fever, the very word sent her into near hysteria. She couldn't go through a fever again.
