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He meant the view, she grimaced. Hadn't he bothered to notice the beautiful flowers she had cultivated on her window sill?
She wondered if he found her pretentious. She'd tried very hard to live an average life, to have a moderate home, with all the comforts, but not necessarily luxurious.
Their fingers grazed each other as she handed him the glass, and they both jumped.
"Uh, thanks, I like it. I've lived here nearly three years. I just love the view" She noticed he was still looking around. "Why don't we sit down?"
She followed him to the leather couch, pretending a calm she didn't come close to feeling. She noticed him staring at the bearskin rug in front of the fireplace.
When he finally sat on the couch, he eyed her closely. She smoothed her pants. Keep it impersonal, she reminded herself. "So," she drawled, claiming his attention once more. "You've reconsidered my offer?"
Nick nodded, but didn't say a word, his eyes glued to the floor.
"So—"
"So," he let out a long breath, his eyes found and held hers for a long moment.
"I've been thinking a lot about your offer," he said after a long moment, his eyes still not connecting with hers. "It didn't sit well with me at first. You really hit me over the head with this—job—as you call it. I guess because you took me by surprise. Then I got to talkin' to some of the guys down at the garage about it. The way they all talk this could be a very impersonal kind of thing. I mean no contact. Nothing personal."
"As impersonal as you want to make it," Kelsey reassured him, grateful for the opportunity, but still feeling let down.
"All done in a clinic, with no further contact."
She felt as if someone had slapped her in the face, and hot, surprising tears stung her eyes. Her hurt surprised her. Yet she refused to display the slightest emotion in front of him. Her emotions had been riding on a roller coaster lately. Why should she take it personally? He wasn't.
She knew she wasn't a knock-out; Ralph had certainly pointed that out often enough. Kelsey stared at her clenched hands and suddenly unclenched them.
After a minute of silence, he cleared his throat. "Ms. O'Sullivan?"
"Please, call me Kelsey," she insisted, shaking herself from her reverie. Honestly, if she didn't keep her mind on what he was saying, he might walk away and never come back.
"Kelsey," he repeated, rolling it off his tongue as though he had just tasted it. She couldn't tell from his hooded expression if he liked her name or anything about her. Not that she cared.
Eyeing her thoughtfully, he said, "There is just one thing. I gotta know why you want this baby so bad."
"It's important to you?"
"Very."
Kelsey released her breath slowly, wondering just how much she should tell him. The old pain rose within her, sharp and bitter choking her words from her. "I've always wanted children, Nick. I suppose most women do. But maybe more so for me. I was an only child, and the loneliness was quite unbearable. My parents led a busy life. Don't get me wrong, they loved me, but they never realized how much they isolated themselves from me. My father was a career man, my mother a socialite. I've always wanted to share my life with someone, to give all I have. I've tried marriage, and that wasn't for me. I've come to the conclu
sion that I'm better suited for motherhood than marriage."
"And that's it?" He watched her intently.
She stared deep into his midnight eyes, and then sighed heavily. "No, it's not." She gestured with her hand in the air. "You're very perceptive. I can't fool a man like you, can I? You want the whole story. All right, I'll be honest with you." She stood up and turned away, unable to face him. "I lost a baby once." Her voice faltered. "During my marriage. Ever since then I've felt—incomplete, a failure, somehow. I can run a company practically by myself, but the rest of my life has been a miserable failure."
She turned and found Nick's eyes on her again, wide with what looked like surprise.
"Naturally, I can give a baby everything—money, education, a future. But most of all, I want to give my baby love. I want the experience of sharing my life with someone."
An unsettling compassion filled Nick's eyes. "Why don't you just get married again? Wouldn't that be better all the way around?"
Kelsey was shaking her head before he finished. "I'm a lousy wife, Nick. I already know that much. Ralph complained the entire time we were married. I'm a workaholic. My lifestyle is too hectic for husband and child. Obviously, I'm not cut out for marriage."
"Maybe he was a lousy husband. People can change. Couldn't you work it out with him?"
"I don't think so, we're not compatible."
