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"Did you love him?" His point blank question startled her. Although there was nothing in his expression to say so, he seemed very interested in her answer.
Kelsey was silent for a long while. She'd never really loved Ralph, although she'd tried endlessly to please him. He'd been too self-centered, too wrapped up in himself to care for anyone. "I don't think so. We were too young to know what love really is."
"And now, you've got all this love stored up, and no one to give it to, huh?" Nick probed.
The unshed tears threatened to overflow. Pushing them back she nodded, sharing the moment of truth with a virtual stranger. Could he possibly understand this biological clock ticking inside her like a time bomb about to explode?
"All right, why not?" he said suddenly. "It's not like the kid would want for anything, is it?" He looked away from her, his gaze scanning the Hudson once more as he stared out the patio door. His expression was guarded.
He seemed to distance himself purposely from her and what she was saying. "You're a rich woman. You can afford to give a child the best. And you're willing to subject yourself to humiliation and degradation over not having a husband. Just see that you take care of our kid right. Teach it everything, not just the usual reading and writing. Love it, and don't be afraid to show it. Teach her about life. Don't leave nothin' out. Lovin' means giving of yourself, your time. You'll have to take the time. Believe me, I know. So don't hold back. That's all I ask. That is—unless I didn't check out with your detective."
"I think you'll check out just fine." She wasn't sure of this, but she did know Nick was the right man for this job. She faltered, as his eyes traveled her thoroughly. A heated rush surged through her. "And—I promise, Nick."
He stood up far too close to her, bringing an intimacy she hadn't expected. His nearness threw her off balance. The energy, the heat of the man seemed to surround her. Panicking, she backed away, knocking herself into a large bookcase. The books tumbled all around her.
Nick grabbed her against him, and Kelsey lost all thoughts as she came in contact with a rock hard man. He slipped a muscular arm about her waist to steady her. "Are you all right?" His voice was a smothered chuckle.
The firm contact took her breath away. She caught herself and smiled brightly, despite her rampaging heart.
"I'm fine, thanks." Nick's smile sent her pulse roaring through her like a run-away freight train. And the funniest thing about it was the fact that he wasn't looking at her like she was a klutz but rather a very charming woman. As though her blunder was a ploy for his attention.
His eyes fastened on her with lazy appraisal.
"You're agreeing to my request is wonderful. I guess we can get started at the clinic, Monday, unless you have other reservations." She moved away from his disturbing presence.
Composure, that's all she needed. And he seemed to be buying it. Never let them see you sweat, she thought to herself.
His gaze skimmed her, glancing down she saw that her breast jutted against the thin cotton. Belatedly she felt the electric shock a woman experiences when a man really notices her for the first time. Nick stared at her as though she had suddenly become naked—and interesting. For a moment, she thought she saw something more in his expression, but it was quickly squelched by some other emotion she couldn't define.
His glance gave her confidence.
"Just one thing." He said clearing his throat. "I don't want any further contact with you."
She outwardly flinched and he stepped closer. "No—wait! Please don't be offended. I just don't want to make this any more personal than it already is. I-I like you. You're a little uptight, but I like you. I mean, you're a nice lady. But let's just keep it that way, okay?"
"Okay, Nick," she said tightly, looking away from him. She had the sinking feeling of losing something valuable and yet she didn't know what exactly it might be.
"Nah. You don't see. "He shook his head and moved so that she had to look directly at him.
"Look." He took her hands in his for a second. Their warmth seeped into her chilling body. "If I stuck around, that's what I'd want to do. Stick around. Be here, with you and the baby. Our baby. I might latch onto you like a leach. You've made it clear you don't want a man. You've been up front from the start. I respect you for that. That's fair enough. I don't quite understand it, but at least you're honest. I want kids someday, too, Kelsey." His eyes found hers. "But I want the works. I want a wife. I can't see life any other way. Anyway, the less involved we are, the better, ya know?"
Our baby, stuck in her mind as she repeated the words.
"Y-yes, of course, you're absolutely right." She pulled her hands slowly from his and moved away, toward the entrance. The tingle from his touch still coursed through her.
The victory was hers, yet she felt numbed by it. What was wrong with her? She should be pleased with her success. "I'll get my checkbook."
"Nah. Just mail it."
"But…"
"Okay, so, I'll go to the clinic Monday. Which clinic?" he smiled at her and moved toward the door, his eyes drifting to the shirt clinging to her breasts.
"University Medical Center. Do you know where it is?"
He nodded his face a cool mask, all emotion gone.
"Thank you. I won't ever forget you, Nick Leonetti." She had the insane urge to kiss him good-bye, or at the very least say something that he might remember always. Wishing he'd do anything but extend that big warm hand of his for another impersonal shake, she withdrew mentally. Her strong reactions to him scared her. The longing to press her lips to his, to have his big hands hold her, touch her? God! Had she lost her mind?
