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"Then you will tell them?" Savannah encouraged.
"Give me two months." He pleaded with her.
"Two?" Savannah found her temper rising. Didn't he realize she was barely keeping herself together, and he was begging for two months? Never had she seen Chad so despondent. But it certainly wasn't her place to tell her parents or his that he was gay. He had chosen that life, now he had to face the truth about himself and his life.
Savannah might have been furious with him, had it been any other problem she might have handled it, but this...she couldn't. She simply didn't know how. She couldn't explain, and he wouldn't.
"Three at the very most," he was whining. She'd never heard him whine in all the years she had known him. Dear God, how could thirty minutes change so much in their lives?
Savannah took a deep breath. Inside she was seething with some unspent rage. A rage that cried he had no right to do this to her. But he might ruin both their lives yet, if he didn't tell his parents, and hers.
What would she do out west with an Aunt she barely remembered? She wasn't even sure her Aunt Lucy would know her now.
"Three months, that's it," she decided firmly. "I can't put my own life on hold any longer than that. As it is, I'll lose my job. My parents will worry themselves sick, and blame me. You have to straighten this out. Face your life, Chad. You've chosen it, now you have to face it."
"I know. Just give me the three months. I'll find a way to tell them." Chad nodded slowly as though everything were going through his head at once.
Savannah smiled and nodded, "Okay Chad. By the end of summer, you'll have to tell them."
"I do love you, you know." He leaned towards her.
Savannah nodded slowly, sadly, "Yes, I know." How hollow those words sounded now.
"Didn't you ever once suspect?" He asked curiously. "I mean... we never..."
"I just thought you were being a gentleman," she felt a tear slip down her cheek. The dream that she was saving herself for her husband seemed totally foolish and silly now. And yet, it was so much a part of her belief that she refused to let Chad or anyone ruin her ideal. "That's one of the things I loved about you most."
"I'd thought about...at least trying, for your sake." He admitted. "You're such a gentle sweet person, it wouldn't be hard. I could have loved you both."
"Good thing you didn't. You know, Chad, you are the only man I've ever been serious about."
At that moment she mused the fact that she hadn't told him she had loved him. Perhaps it was a little false pride holding her back. Or perhaps there was something lacking in her own make-up that kept her from it.
"I never meant to hurt you, Savannah. I never meant for this to happen...it just did. Funny thing is, I didn't know myself till last summer. Remember, when we went swimming with Douglas and his sister."
Savannah felt suddenly queasy, dizzy. She needed to leave. She didn't want to hear anymore, and yet, this was Chad. Her Chad, till only moments ago. How could a few precious moments destroy something so lovely? The boy next door she'd grown up with, fell in love with. It was a fairytale, a dream, it wasn't reality. And in one moment that whole illusion was spoiled. And everything she thought she knew about men, seemed very little.
She couldn't lay all the blame on Chad either, because she had been a part of it all, too. Chad had simply chosen another life. She sincerely wanted Chad's happiness, and her own.
"I've got to get out of here, Chad," she said backing away from him as he stood up and started to approach her. She didn't want him near her. Not right now. It was simply too soon. She didn't want to hear about Douglas, she just wanted to escape, so she could cry in private. It hurt holding back the tears.
There was hurt in his eyes, she saw it. But it was all too fresh in her mind. She needed time to assimilate what she had witnessed. Seeing him and Douglas in the garden, kissing, passionately, destroyed something inside her, facing that iss
ue was just too much right now. She wasn't sure what it was, but something was very different, and she knew deep down she'd never trust her feelings so easily again.
"I've got to go," she said quietly, not quite meeting his eyes.
"Savannah, forgive me for hurting you."
"I—I forgive you, Chad. I don't think you could help it. I hope you and Douglas…can make a life."
"Thanks, sweetie, I knew you'd understand, somehow."
Savannah smiled sadly at him. "Good luck!"
"Okay...Savannah?"
"Yes," she didn't turn around to look at him,
