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As he promised, Wade came back in two days, and ate another meal with her family. This time he brought a ham. All during the meal his eyes kept straying to her as she sat across the table from him. It was like he could touch her with his eyes. When she had helped with the dishes she walked out on the front porch where her father and Wade were talking. They looked quite serious and she wondered if Wade had changed his mind about marrying her. He'd been more quiet this time. His expression serious.
When he noticed her standing there, he grabbed her hand. "Walk with me."
They walked off from the house to be alone.
Her father watched them go, smoking his pipe and a slow burning smile lit his lips. His daughter was growing up.
Beth felt butterflies now every time he looked at her and the anticipation of another kiss was driving her crazy. She mentally scolded herself for wanting another, but it was so breathtaking the way he kissed her, it was a new experience for her. She liked kissing.
Her hands sweat into his, as he held it tight.
"So, any regrets of saying yes?" He asked, his face solemn.
They seemed to stop at the same place every time. She leaned against the tree and sighed aloud.
Her head jerked up to look at him. "No…of course not. Do you have any…regrets?" She asked anxiously.
He stopped and turned to look at her. "In some ways."
Beth felt a let-down. He didn't want to marry her now? Had she been too forward with the kissing? She wished she could take them back on one hand, and on the other, she would treasure them for the rest of her life.
"Then you don't want to get married?" She asked point blank, swallowing her pride.
He turned away, looking out over the meadow, she listened to the mockingbird in the tree above them. "He's a noisy critter isn't he?"
Wade glanced up in the tree and the mockingbird flew away.
"Of course I want to marry you Beth…but now is not a good time to do so. I should have known better to ask for your hand, but to tell the truth I've been captivated by you every since I first saw you. I was afraid if I didn't ask for your hand, the next time I saw you, you would belong to someone else."
"But…"
"You're so young, so beautiful…and a damn good kisser I might add. But…."
"But what?" She felt lost now. He didn't want her, it was clear as the cows that dotted the meadow. She wanted to be brave but something inside her seemed to cave in. When he'd first asked her, she felt overwhelmed, now let down more described her feelings.
"I'm taking an unfair advantage and I know that." He admitted still not looking at her. "Somewhere down the line, I'll be sorry and wish I hadn't taken the advantage, especially now."
"It's because I'm a virgin, isn't it?" She gushed with her own answer. She'd admitted this to him, and she'd let him kiss her any time he wanted. She was shameful, and he was sorry he asked her.
"No," He whirled around to look into her eyes and saw the confusion building. "My God, is that what you think? No, that's not it at all. I just waltzed into your life without regard asking you to marry me. You don't know me. You might not even like me. I haven't that right."
"So…what are you saying. You don't want to get married now?" She felt her face grow hot with hurt and anger. Her attempt to hide her feelings was failing miserably now. "You may not admit it but it's because I'm a virgin, I'm sure of it. That an I'm too forward. But…you don't understand. You took me by storm, and I thought once you kissed me, you wouldn't want to marry me because I don't know how to do it properly. That's it, isn't it. I'm too naïve."
"Dammit," He exclaimed and pulled her into his arms and kissed her until she was dizzy with wants that she didn't know anything about. Her stomach filled with butterflies. She didn't want the kiss to end.
His lips were not tender this time, they were passionate, as though the last couple of days had been hell without her. He ravaged her mouth, leaving her weak and pliant in his arms. Not understanding this passion, she simply surrendered to it, which made him groan.
When he turned her loose he stared into her eyes and saw the beautiful thing he had done to her. She was barely able to stand on her own, so swept away by the kiss.
"God, I've missed you!" He blurted raggedly.
She stood trying to get her breath, and hearing his words, a smile broke over her. "You…missed me?"
"Every moment." He admitted freely.
She bowed her head and closed her eyes, thanking God that he was not rejecting her.
"I thought you were trying to break it off…just now."
