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"I'm young but I learn fast."
"I believe that."
Without hesitation he grabbed her and kissed her hard, and pulled her into his arms. His kiss said everything she needed to know. He wanted her. And Beth had made up her mind that if she married Wade, she would be as one. But talk of war did alarm her. She couldn't imagine such a thing.
She'd heard her father speak of slavery before and how he hated it. But still, he was a southerner too. People seemed pulled, and Beth had never wanted to think about a war.
Still, the one thing she knew is that she would help her husband any way she could.
Chapter Five
"Are you scared?" Martina asked her as Beth hung the wedding dress on the nail on the door. They'd just listened to her Papa telling a tale of his hunting adventures, and then it was time for bed. The younger ones had already brushed their teeth, washed their faces and gotten into bed. After their father's lively tale, they were fast asleep now.
Beth had come into the bedroom first and took the dress her mother had worked so hard on for the past two days and admired it. Through the years her mother had made a point of adding lace, or a pearl or an adornment to the dress every chance she got, wanting it to stay as lovely as possible she had kept it in an old cedar chest, so nothing would harm it. Beth stared at it a long time. Hopes and dreams were sewn on that dress. Hanging on the wall, she was able to see and feel all the intricate work her mother had devoted to it. It was so lovely. She'd never had a dress like that before. It would belong to her sisters some day too.
Beth turned around and smiled. "Not like I first was. At first I was terrified, but now…no, I'm not. Not of him, but of going, yes."
"Why not him?"
"Because he's kissed me…" Beth said in a strange far-away voice.
"Kissed you? You let him?" Martina was aghast.
"Well, I am to marry him. I needed to know if he knew how." She chuckled.
Martina smiled, "And did he?"
"Oh yes, he most certainly did. It was as good as we imagined it would be, too. He's a fine kisser."
"Then you like him?" Martina asked.
"Yes, I do…"
"I'd be scared out of my wits. I mean you'll be leaving…won't you?" Martina asked, her eyes clouding.
"Yes, I'm afraid that is a little scary. Especially since I've never left home. But all brides leave home when they marry. You wouldn't want to live with your parents then, it wouldn't be right." Beth explained.
"Why not?"
Beth looked at her naïve sister. "For one thing, at night, you go to bed with your husband…"
"Oh yeah…that would be embarrassing if Ma and Pa were there, I guess." Martina nodded. "You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?"
"Yes, I have…It's all that's been on my mind since Mama announced it at the table."
"Are you in love?" Martina got that far away look in her eye like they both used to do.
Beth hesitated. "I'm not sure. I thought I'd know right away, how I felt, but I'm not sure. I'm not even sure what being in love is supposed to be about. I suppose it will come to me, sooner or later."
"Does he love you?"
"I don't know…"
"I wouldn't marry a man I didn't love." Martina scrunched up her nose at her sister.
"Martina, " Beth sat on the edge of the bed beside her sister. She took her hand in hers and held it. "You'll be next, I'm afraid. You must prepare for it, you'll be nineteen soon. Mark my words, it is going to happen. We are girls, we are what they call expendable. And when it does, don't think too harshly of the folks. After all, they have taken care of us for so long. And we do have to grow up."
"Next. What do you mean, I'll be next?"
