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"They can't afford all of us kids. Not now, they can't. That's the truth of the matter. I guess I didn't see it before, but I do now. There's too many of us, and too many with big appetites. If it hadn't been for Wade, no telling what might have happened. I am lucky they didn't try to make a bargain with that tinker. So you must be ready. Unless you have someone in mind, yourself. If you do, you should do something about it, before it's too late."
Martina frowned now and moved away from her. "They wouldn't!"
"Maybe I'm wrong, but I think so. We're girls. We aren't as valuable to Pa as the boys are. We can't do a lot of the heavier work. And we are another mouth to feed."
"You talk like we are some kind of animals to be pawned off. I can't believe they would do it."
"They did it to me!" She glanced at Martina who was really upset now. "And thinking on it, I understand it a little better now that I've had some time. I don't like the fact, but I understand. I guess I was thinking I'd stay here forever. But the truth is we have to grow up, Martina."
Martina's eyes rounded on her. "My God…they did."
"And you are plenty old enough to be married." Beth informed her.
"Don't they love us, any more?" Martina gasped.
"Sure they do. They are just sort of looking at this as a practical thing. One less mouth to feed. And we are of marrying age. I didn't see this before, but, it is time I grew up and lived in an adult world. I guess they see it as '
once your eighteen you are marriage material.' So if you don't pick someone out soon, they probably will."
"Oh my God!" Martina gasped. "Jimmy Joe is the only boy I've ever liked. But marriage? I never even thought about it." Martina shook her head and tears were close to falling. "He's still pretty immature…"
"I think that is the problem. Most boys our age are immature. I think that's why I didn't worry about it too much."
"Oh my gosh…" She looked at Beth once more. "I don't mean to put a damper on the eve of your wedding, but…I'm not ready to get married."
Beth chuckled, "Neither was I. But this week has changed things. I think I can handle it, now."
"Doesn't it make you want to just run away?" Martina cringed as she pulled the blanket on their bed over her barefeet. They'd both just washed up in the washtub until they were squeaky clean.
"You know, at first it did. Now, I don't know. Maybe it will be exciting. He lives on a riverboat, with his mother."
"His mother!" Martina firmed her lips. "What if she don't like you? I've heard mother-in-law's can be the end of a marriage."
Beth glanced at Martina, "I can't allow myself to think that way, Martina. All I can say is, she doesn't have any more choices than I do. She'll have to like me. I'll be married to her son."
"A riverboat, gosh, that is kind of exciting though, isn't it?"
"Never been on one, don't know. But it will be unusual." Beth sighed.
"Are you gonna have babies right away, too?"
Beth's face went scarlet. "We haven't discussed that, but I don't imagine. We won't even have relations right away."
"Why not?" Martina asked innocently.
"He said not until I'm ready."
"And you aren't ready?"
Beth squared her shoulders, "Well…I don't know. I mean, I like him kissing me. That much I know, but the other…that scares me a little. I mean, I never sparked with a man before, or a boy even. To have relations…that's a big step. I guess it will depend on whether I love him or not."
"What if you don't?"
Beth wrapped the blanket around Martina's feet, then wrapped herself with it too. "Then I doubt we'll have relations."
"But you will be married. Won't he insist?"
"Not if he's a gentleman."
