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She pulled out of his arms. "When is a good time?"
Her voice had gone cold, and her brows knitted.
"You don't understand, do you?" He fretted turning away from her for a moment to compose himself and his words.
"You could be a widow before you're a wife. I don't want to take you and maybe risk you getting pregnant and me dying. It would be so cruel. You are so young, and beautiful. If anything happens. Promise me you'll find someone new…"
She made a sorrowful face, her tears falling now. "A widow. Pregnant! Dying! Someone new! Oh no, Wade…you can't do this. You must'n fight. We can run away from this. Go to California…. maybe?" She was grasping at straws now, unable to face what he was saying.
He pulled her to the edge of the bed and had her sit down. He took her hands in his and smiled warmly.
"Some things you can't run away from. This is one of those things. This boat belonged to my father and now it belongs to me. It's part of my life, and I won't turn lose of it. I have to fight to keep it. That probably doesn't make much sense to you, but it's the truth. If I do nothing, they'll take it over and it could cause the lives of a lot of southerners. If I join forces with the north, and spy for the south, I'll be serving my country and my own interests at the same time. This boat is our livelihood. We have to keep it no matter what. And believe me Beth, the war doesn't care who it belongs to, but both sides are going to need it. So you see, I have to fight. This boat is our home, I cannot let them take it over, and destroy it."
She leaned toward him and he wrapped his arms around her. "Don't you know by now that I do want you?"
She looked up into his eyes with hope. "You do?"
He chuckled, "I have since the first moment I saw you."
"Then why….?" She cried.
"I'm going to be very busy for a few days. I've got to get this boat squared away, and get in contact with the southern end of this, let them know the plan is ready."
"What can I do?" She asked bravely.
He smiled and kissed her head, "Just don't let anyone know about this. No one. Be here for me, and mother, and don't lose faith in me…"
She nodded. "Alright. Will the war last long?" She asked staring into his eyes. "Will it be over like they said…quickly?"
"Some say it will be over before it gets started, but I think not. I think this will be the bloodiest war ever. And we must prepare for it, darling. There will be things we have to do, that we don't want to do. There will be times we will barely see each other, but know this…you are my wife and you always will be."
"Wade…I ache…inside for you." She cried. "My body goes crazy when you are near. I've never felt this way about anyone. I've never needed anyone so badly as I need you."
"Oh honey, I ache for you too. More than you will ever know."
"I think I'm in love with you Wade." She said softly.
He looked into her tear-stained face. He stared for a long moment. "When you know for sure, without any doubts, it'll be right."
"B-but…Wade I've never been in love before. Don't you see. How am I supposed to know if this is real or not?"
"You'll know…. And I'll know you know." He smiled tenderly.
"Is it because I'm still innocent that you don't want me?" She asked.
"God no! That has nothing to do with it."
"I don't understand then…"
"You will…one day."
She stood up, fumbling with her handkerchief that was wet with her tears. "But you'll go to war and I won't even have become your wife…"
He stood up and turned her around to face him. "Don't say that, you are my wife, my only wife, and you always will be."
She buried her face in his chest. "Help me be strong. I want you to make love to me…"
She felt his smile against her cheek, and she lifted her head for his kisses.
