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Something occurred to him but he tried to push to the back of his mind. It would be much too dangerous and he couldn't ask it of Beth or his mother.
But it might be the only way to
accomplish it.
He needed to talk to them alone, and he had to make sure that no one could hear them.
He was walking on deck with Beth one evening and kissing her as he whispered. "I want you to ask mother to pretend sickness so we can both gather in her quarters."
Beth looked startled, but she wrapped her arms around him and nodded, "Of course darling."
He smiled. "You’re a natural Beth."
"When…?"
"Tomorrow evening."
"It will be done…" she whispered, kissing his cheek.
Her warm breath tickled his ear and he shuddered. "Do you know what you're doing to me?"
"Yes, " She giggled.
"You’re a minx." He smiled.
"I know…" She said and her lips touched his. "I'm learning a lot these days about seducing my husband."
The kiss went on and on, and passersby smiled and some chuckled at their enthusiasm.
Beth sighed into his arms. "I never thought I'd be this happy in all my life…Even with a war going on, I'm so content to be here."
His eyes glittered into hers, "You mean that?"
"Of course I do…" She whispered.
They walked hand in hand to their room and they went to bed. He was still sleeping on the floor, but this night they both tossed and turned.
His need of her was growing day by day and he knew she felt the same. He wanted to make love to her, but he knew that if he got her pregnant, and something happened to him, he had no idea what might happen to her. He couldn't bare that. So he had to be strong for both their sakes.
"Is there any reason we can't?" She finally asked him, into the night.
"I can think of a few…" he sighed heavily. He saw the frustrations in her face and he wanted to appease her.
"Would you at least come and hold me and let me fall asleep in your arms?" she asked sweetly.
He stood up and looked down at her. She was so lovely. He could hardly bare to say no. He slid into the bed beside her and she came into his arms immediately burying her face under his chin, her arms wrapped around him.
He closed his eyes and sighed. She snuggled in his arms, and kissed his chin several times. Her arms wrapped around him, clinging to him.
"You know I want you don't you?" He asked softly.
"Yes, and I want you. And I don't understand why we can't. If you aren't going to make love to me, please, don't talk about it."
He smiled, kissing the top of her head. "I know you don't understand this. I'm not even sure I do. But…your life is in danger and so is mother's." He began to explain.
She moved away to look at him. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, they want me to spy for the north, I’m a double agent now. And they've threatened to confiscate the boat if I didn't cooperate. However, I must say the General is nicer about it, than the southern officer I spoke with. He didn't ask, he told me." Wade began. "That's why, I mustn't get you pregnant. I couldn't bear worrying over three of you."
