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"How did John take Martina leavin' him?" Jacob asked, as he watched her expression change.
"Bad. He loved her." Beth replied, glancing at her brother. "Even knowing the things she did, he loved her. And the sad part is, she may never know it."
"I kind of thought he was in love with her. Martina lost it after you left. She had no one to talk to, no one to confide in, or ask help of. I don't think she trusted anyone but you."
"I wish everyone would quit saying that. Makes me feel so guilty." Beth cried. "When Pa offered me up on a platter to Wade, I was afraid for Martina, afraid she'd have the same fate. Pa just doesn't understand women; I don't know how Ma puts up with him sometimes. You can't just marry your children off to whoever comes along. With me, it worked, because Wade was understanding, but not every man would be. I realized that. I fell in love with Wade because he did understand."
Her brother nodded. "It wasn't right of Pa. I knew that. But I didn't know how to tell him. No one can help Martina right now. Maybe never. And it's no one's fault." Jacob told her as he put a part up in the
barn. "Wade's pretty decent to you?" Jacob asked.
"He's very decent. I love him, Jacob." Beth smiled just thinking about him. "I miss him something terrible. He's got a lot of problems about this war himself. The Confederates want him signed up, the north wants him to spy. But strangely, the Confederates are less understanding than the north. They suspect him, but they still want to use his boat. He's under considerable pressure."
"Maybe I could help him. Maybe between the two of us, we could do what has to be done. If he's for the north, then I could be some help for him." Jacob smiled.
"When I get ready to go, you come with me." Beth told him. "I can't get back alone, with the Indians about, and the soldiers everywhere. Maybe Wade could use some help. I’m sure not able to do much."
"I gotta tell Pa and he might get mad. But count on it, Sis. I'm with you and Wade."
"Pa knows you are gonna get called up." Beth told him leaning against a tree. "And if he knows you don't want to fight for the south, he'll let you go."
"Maybe, but he sure doesn't want me leavin' the place."
"Can't be helped." Beth proclaimed. "And if you have to fight, I want you to at least be able to fight for the side you believe in."
"Things are sure changing sis. I remember the worst thing I had to worry about was whether I was gonna wear my blue shirt or my red one. Now, I don't even care…"
She chuckled, and hugged him tight.
"Ma wants to have a little party for Sarah, her birthday is comin' up." Jacob told her.
"That would be nice. She's growing up too fast. I talked to Pa about that too. I think he sees that not all of us need to be married right away. At least I hope he does." Beth sighed heavily. "This war is going to get much worse as time goes on, and families will be split and killed and all manner of hell will break lose. We have to find a way to stay together, no matter what." Beth affirmed.
~*~
Three days later they had a small party for Sarah, Ma invited some of her friends over, baked her a cake and Mother Cahill and her sat on the front porch watching the kids playing and laughing.
"I'm afraid there won't be many more days of celebrating." Ma told her.
Beth came to sit on the porch steps as the kids played games in the yard.
"This was a good idea Ma." Beth told her. "It kind of breaks the tension around here."
"Well, I just figured with everything being so serious and all, a little party might perk everyone up. I guess that's something us women have to do when our men have to go to war." Ma told. "Your Pa shouldn't have to go, because of how many kids we got and him being the bread winner. But the boys…" her voice broke a little.
"We'll weather Ma. We got get some iron in our backbones." Beth told her.
Mother Cahill smiled at her, pleased to see her holding up so well.
Her Pa joined them, laughing at Sarah as she fumbled with the ball they were playing with as it rolled down the hill.
"I guess it's as good a time as any to tell you that Jacob wants to go with me when I leave and see if Wade might have work for him on the boat." Beth explained looking at her father now.
Her father rested his arms on his knees. "Might be the best thing for him. 'Cause if he stays around here, he'll get called up. Daniel and Matthew have a couple of years yet, maybe by that time the war will be over. When you leavin'?"
"First part of next week."
Her Pa nodded. Suddenly he gave off a sly smile, "Well you don't have to worry about Sarah. She says she's gonna pick her own fella out. Maybe we kept too tight a reign on you girls all this time."
