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"I knew it was gonna get bad girl. I've seen things around here that it's doing to some and I can't believe it. Father against son, brother against brother. Johnny Potts left home three weeks ago to join the Union Army. The whole community liked to have run him off after they found out he was joining the Union. Sam Granger's son was killed the other day in some battle in Arkansas."
"Bobby?"
"Yeah…Cal Hobart too. It's a dangerous time. Families left alone, Indians attacking. Things are just not good right now. But what is worse, every skirmish hundreds sometimes thousands die. It's hard to believe. It's scary to look at those lists. I don't want the boys goin' off, I need them here, but if they make it a law, what can I or anyone else do?"
"I know Pa. Will you and Ma be all right here?"
"We'll make out. Are you taking Mrs. Cahill with you?"
"No, Wade wants her to stay here. Right now it might be the only thing for her, since she can't get around that well. But don't baby her, she's very independent."
He nodded and smiled. "Ma says she's a lot of company to her."
"They get along well."
"Pa…I love you! And I'm sorry if I was too rough on you. I just couldn't believe about Martina. I guess in some ways I haven't grown up either."
"You've done just fine girl." He smiled and pet her hand. "I don't know how to begin to tell John how we all feel. But I know how you feel girl. I know that."
Chapter Twenty
Jacob was outside fixing the plow a couple of days later, his arm was better and he could work now.
He saw her coming so he waited until she got close. His face masked, his glance penetrating. "Well, did you go see her before she up and left?" He asked unable to keep the sarcasm from his voice.
"Yeah, I saw her." Beth nodded as a line etched between her brows.
"Things are changing around here a lot, Beth. A lot of the boys my age have enlisted. Pa won't let me. But they are talkin' like it won't be long before we have to go. Pa does need me, but if I gotta go, then I gotta go."
"Would you fight for the north or the south?" Beth asked, her voice uncertain.
"Between you and me, I'd rather fight for the north," he stared at her, waiting for her reaction to that. When she didn't flinch he went on. "But if you say that too loud, anywhere near these parts, and you could get your throat slit. This whole valley is battling it out. Some want to fight for the 'cause, and other just want what is right. I don't believe in slaves, Beth. Never have. So that's why I'd want to fight for the north. But, if I don't leave soon, I'll be drafted into the south. With no choice." The anger in him came alive in the way he threw down his tools and the dust scattered.
"Maybe you should go see Uncle Clive out in California." Beth suggested, her eyes not meeting his just yet.
"If I could get there in one piece." Jacob chuckled hysterically.
"I'll ask Wade if he could put you on." Her voice softened with understanding.
Jacob's eyes lit up, "You will? You mean that?"
"Yes," She met his gaze steadily now. "I’m worried about you. I've lost Martina, I can't lose you too!" She cried and hugged him.
He took her in his arms. "Don't cry sis. She'll come back…someday. She's just got to get her head on straight is all…"
"I hope you are right about that. I can't do anything about her now, but I can you. Even if Wade can't give you work, you could come out there with me, and go on to fight for the north." Beth suggested. "If that's what you really want."
"You think I could?" His eyes held hope.
"I don't see why not. Does Pa know how you feel?"
"Yeah, I couldn't keep it a secret from him." Jacob shrugged. "He knows me better than anybody."
"What did he say."
"He told me to keep my mouth shut around here." Jacob laughed. "It's just too dangerous to talk about."
"He's right about that."
