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She looked up at him. "Maybe what you're feeling isn't love, maybe it's simply loneliness. Maybe it's losing your mother."
He stared into her eyes, and smiled. "No." He cupped her face with his hands, and stroked her cheek with his thumbs, enjoying the way her eyes lit. "My mother was a good woman. She lived a life of loneliness too. But I've put her where she belongs. I miss her, I grieved for her, I even broke down and cried for losing her. Crying is necessary to get over it. I learned that. But that is over. And…I can't explain it Lilly. But from the moment you kissed me hello, I realized I've been missing something. And you are that something. You and only you, honey. My mother missed it a lot of her life. I don't want to live like that. And I know what I've been missing all along….is you! That kiss filled a hole in my heart Lilly. And I can't lose you again…"
"When you went away, it broke my heart." She admitted through tears.
"God, I never meant to." He grabbed her gently and pulled her into his arms again. "But…this town…I couldn't stay here. I figured you and my mother would be better off without me." He tried to explain.
"I was never better off without you Cord. But you want to marry me, knowing what I've been?" She stared up at him. "You know it won't be easy."
"I don't care about that Lilly. I know you. I've always known you. I'm no saint myself. We know each other, and that puts us way ahead of most people."
Tears rolled down her cheeks now, and she stared into his face.
"Cord…" she whispered as their lips met in a storm of passion. This kiss was tender, reaching at their heartstrings, filling them with something intangible.
"Marry me, Lilly…put me out of this misery." he murmured against her ear. "I'm miserable without you."
"Yes…." she barely breathed. "God help me, yes. But you promised to give me time."
"You'll never regret it…never!" He said.
And then he kissed her once more, like a treasure he held dear.
"Thank God," he smiled against her temple as he held her close.
She saw the look of something so compelling in his eyes and all she could do was nod her head.
She stood there for a few minutes trying to make sense of his visit. And then she smiled…Cord had come home…and they were getting married!
And the loneliness he spoke of, she'd shared it with him all those years.
Chapter Eleven
Cord found a confidence he'd never known.
Everything in his life was coming together, finally and he was looking forward to the future.
He glanced at his mother's grave and he walked over to it. He took his hat off and stared at the stone for a long time.
"Ma, things are working out. Lilly's going to marry me. We'll be a family. Pedro's going to help me with the place. Things are looking up for me Ma. For the first time I feel like I might have a real life now. I just wanted you to know. I've come home."
He started to go back to work, but he turned and looked at the grave once more. "And Ma, I'll hang my guns up soon. I promise."
Then he put his hat back on his head went to work.
He put the Dubs boys to the back of his mind and concentrated on Lilly, Charlie, and what he could do with the place.
He and Pedro worked diligently to get the place in shape. Pedro's house was up and they were living in their little homestead about a mile down the road from his own. The fences had been mended, and he'd patch the roof on the main house soon. He'd need some supplies; he'd check in town before he did that job. The bunkhouse was next and he was going to get Liam to come out and help on the bunkhouse.
Eager to let Lilly know that things were going well he went into town once more.
The doc spotted him as he came out of the bank.
"Well looks like things are picking up for you, Cord."
Cord moved his boot in the dirt. "You know Doc for the first time, I feel like maybe I really can settle down."
"I'm glad Cord. Your mother would be proud of that."
