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“Are you going to be okay today?” he asks quietly. “No, don’t answer that, it’s a stupid question. You’re so strong, of course you will be, but we’ll be here when you get home. You’ll be taken care of. Anything you need.”
“I know,” I croak out, and then I throw my arms around him. “Thank you.”
“Always, Riley,” he says, but his voice is hoarse. “Now, let’s get downstairs and get you some breakfast.”
“I can’t,” I say. “No food beforehand.”
“Shit.” He hangs his head. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”
“It’s fine. I don’t think I could have eaten anything even if I were allowed.”
“Fox and Thane are already in the kitchen. Come join us when you are ready.” He heads out of my room, and I close the door behind him. I change into my comfiest lounge pants and t-shirt, throw my socks and shoes on, and take a deep breath.
I’m ready. I can do this.
I walk down the stairs, keeping my footsteps light. Even so, all four Alphas jump when they see me. We’re all on edge, waiting for a sudden catastrophe to hit, when really, it’s going to be a slow, painful descent until my body recovers.
“Good morning, everyone,” I say cheerfully.
They all greet me, except Thane, who chugs down the rest of his coffee. “Ready to go?” he asks, standing from the table. I notice none of them are eating and there’s no evidence of breakfast having been cooked in the kitchen. I frown, but I understand none of them likely felt like eating this morning, either.
I have to remember this isn’t just going to be difficult for me. It’ll be difficult for them as well. Mentally and physically. But I’m hoping I can spare them the worst of it by blocking as much of my pain as possible from traveling through the mating bonds now tying us all together.
“As ready as I can be,” I answer more cheerfully than I feel.
Only Thane will be coming with me today, as guests are severely limited at the clinic. I’m glad it’s him, even if I’ll miss the others. I want to be able to ask questions freely, and I know of all of them, he’ll have the answers.
I turn to Fox first. It feels like a final, solemn goodbye, even though I know I’ll see him in a few hours.
“I’m rooting for you, sugar,” he says, kissing my forehead and then my lips. “We’ll get through this. Be prepared to watch a lot of game reels.”
“Oh joy,” I say, but the sarcasm is too weak to come through. I kiss him once again, a simple brush of our mouths together before moving on to Miles.
“What he said,” Miles says, kissing me as well. “Except for the game reel part. I won’t make you watch anything like that. Just cuddles and healing, okay?”
“Sounds perfect.” I turn to Levi, but he said what he needed to say upstairs. He simply kisses me, a soft meeting of our lips, chaste and sweet. His eyes are glassy when he pulls back.
They’re all doing a fairly good job of concealing their stress from me, trying hard not to make it worse, but I can still feel it. The stain of their concern like a bit of worried cloth, frayed and thin.
Thane leads me to the driveway, hand on my back. I know the others are watching me get into the car, but I can’t look back at them or I’ll burst into tears. Thane starts the engine, driving one-handed while his other hand is clasped in mine. We stay quiet during the entire drive to the clinic, but our love for each other ricochets back and forth between the bonds.
The clinic is, well, a veryclinical-looking building. All modern squares and angles, it stands two stories high and is covered in paned windows that reflect the early morning sun’s rays at us until I have to squint. It’s set separate from the hospital, but near enough to quell any worry in my ability to get emergency medical attention if I react adversely to the treatment. Something that happens in about seven percent of patients. If that occurs, I will no longer be eligible to continue the trials.
I need to be in that other ninety-three percent.
I have to be. Not just for myself, but for all of us now.
Inside, the waiting area feels soft and muted without the steady sounds of the cervus ward at the hospital. Thane’s mother is seated on a sofa under a television that shows advertisements for an over-the-counter medication for headaches caused by cervus. She wears her hair pulled back and is dressed in purple scrubs. She stands with a grin when she notices we’ve come in and walks over to us, hugging me first, and then her son.
“Day zero,” Nelly says. “Are you ready?”
“I am ready,” I say, taking Thane’s hand again. “I’m not ready to feel miserable, but if it works, I’m ready for a normal life.”
“And we’ll do all we can to get you that normal life,” a booming voice says behind me. I turn to see Richard, followed by Craig. “We’ll be supervising your care for all of your treatments. Nelly, do you want to take her to her assigned room? We’d like to go over her records with Thane so he’s as prepared as possible.”
“Of course,” says Nelly.
I look up at Thane, my brow raised, but he seems even more confused than I feel. He told me that though his parents would be overseeing the trial, it would be a team of nurses that handled the actual treatment with Craig, Richard, and Nelly only overseeing the charts and bloodwork.
