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Ivan surprised me a little while later, breaking up the monotony of staring at the waterway. Even with my lingering anger over the night before and through the sadness of dredged up memories, I couldn’t help being happy to see him.

“I’m going to give you some self-defense lessons,” he said, leading me into the living area.

I watched him shove aside the couch, admiring his rippling muscles. Then it hit me that he might not be trying to help me pass the time.

“Am I in danger?”

He took my hands and kissed each one. “Not as long as I’m alive, my queen. But it’s a good skill to have.”

He opened up a gym bag and spread out a mat, first showing me how to break free from holds, then he taught me how to take down an attacker. He was as gentle with me as if I were a newborn kitten, and a good teacher. Soon I was able to get him off his feet with an ankle sweeping move.

“Now, I’ll grab you from behind,” he said, making my already accelerated heart rate speed up even more. And not just from the tough workout. He looked scary, and I liked it. Maybe because I knew he was no danger to me. At least I hoped not.

I shivered and he rubbed the goosebumps off my arms. “I’m going to hold you tight, my queen. I want you to think about how important you are to me and how devastated I’d be if I ever lost you. And fight accordingly.”

Instead of doing what he instructed, which was to get my shoulder under his armpit and use momentum to bring him over and down, I just stood there, frozen by his words. He leaned down and tipped my chin up, asking why I wasn’t doing what he told me.

“I’m important to you?” I asked, barely able to get the words out through my tightened throat.

He laughed. “How can you ask such a thing?”

I snorted right back, glaring up at him. “How can I not? You’re hot and cold. If it weren’t for the baby—”

He turned me in his arms and held me close. “Reina, do you know I couldn’t get you off my mind those weeks we were apart? When you showed up in my club to give me the news, it was the happiest I’d felt in a long time.”

I was stunned and could only stare at him in wonder. This wasn’t a declaration of love, but he was spending time with me, showing me how to stay safe. Because he cared.

“Okay,” I said simply, smiling.

Then I turned in his grasp and wedged my shoulder into his chest and flipped him. I was shocked when it worked, despite him being a foot taller than me, and laughed down at him lying flat on his back on the ground.

“You’re a bloodthirsty one,” he said, sitting up and beaming at me proudly.

I joined in with his laughter, unable to believe this was the ruthless crime lord I’d caught overseeing a torture session not that long ago. “Let me flip you again. That was so fun.”

He finally got tired of landing on the mat, and he folded my hand into a fist. “It’s time to learn to hit.” He held his palms up and I took a jab, my arm recoiling when my fist hit his solid hand. I rubbed my knuckles and he shook his head. “Someone’s face is going to be much harder and your aim is to knock them out so you can get away. Hit harder.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I said, making him chuckle.

“You can’t hurt me, so give it your all. You must be serious when you’re fighting for survival.”

“Way to be reassuring,” I said, my stomach flipping.

“Tell me you haven’t wanted to really punch me. Not in all this time?”

Since I knew how much he valued honesty, I kept quiet and he burst out laughing. “Let it all out, my queen.”

My fists flew, crashing into his palms as fast and hard as I could, all traces of my bad mood gone. Maybe I was bloodthirsty like he’d teased, but I pictured Ivan’s hands being my father’s killer, imagining I was taking shots at that person’s face. I was breathless when Hetty interrupted us to remind me of my doctor’s appointment.

“She’s ready whenever you are.”

I looked at Ivan hopefully. “Would you like to stay? I’m getting an ultrasound.”

His whole face softened and he put the same hands I’d been pummeling lightly on my tiny bump. “Absolutely.”

Dr. Freeman wheeled her equipment in and not for the first time I wondered how odd this was to her. Maybe she serviced all the mafia wives or maybe rich people in general couldn’t be bothered to mix with regular sick people so she was used to making house calls. I watched as she set up the machine with growing excitement. These doctor visits were a highlight of my existence, being reassured that the baby was all right. The one perfect thing about my new, bizarre life was how much I couldn’t wait to be a mom. The only time I felt normal and at peace was when Lynn and I were talking about baby things or when I was reading parenting books. Everything else was up in the air, but I was certain I was going to adore being a mother.

I settled onto the rolling table Dr. Freeman always brought and pulled up my shirt so she could put the gel on my stomach. Ivan stood beside me, taking in the equipment with a suspicious air. Dr. Freeman pressed the wand to my stomach and moved it around while I kept my eyes glued to the screen. I held my breath when it remained blank and quiet, feeling dread creep up my spine. I reached for Ivan and he took my hand, no longer scowling at Dr. Freeman but at the ultrasound screen.

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