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I reach across the desk and grab his arms while he grips his head. “By killing your twin brother who you loved more than anyone in the world? No. I can’t explain what they found, but I know you aren’t a murderer. Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope and doubt yourself.”
“Fuck,” he mumbles, sitting back and wiping his eyes. “There’s nothing I can do but keep trying to remember. It’s so infuriating that the stuff that comes back is useless. I can remember riding the school bus when it broke down and we all walked home in the rain but not something that might save my life.”
Tori taps on the door and pokes her head in. “Hey, am I interrupting?”
“No,” Oliver says, standing up. “I need to get back to work.”
“Are you sure?” I ask. I don’t want to leave him. “I can stay, or we can all go to lunch.”
“No.” He comes around the desk to hug me then gives Tori one too. “Working is what I need.”
“Okay. I’ll call you later.”
Tori turns to look at me, her eyebrows raised, when he walks back out to the garage. “What happened?”
The laugh that escapes me has no humor in it. Where to start? It was just another normal day in my existence. I’m pregnant and the father is another step closer to prison. “I’ll tell you at lunch.”
Oliver is crouched next to a bike when we leave. My heart aches at the sight of him.
Tori drives us while I fill her in on everything the lawyer told us, and the advice Oliver was given regarding a plea bargain.
Neither of us seems to know what to say. Once we’re seated at the restaurant, Tori stares at me over our shared platter of tacos. “What’s he going to do?”
“He’s waiting on the competency decision. It feels like everything is riding on that now, and Lowell doesn’t seem to think it’s going to go his way.”
We both fall silent for a few minutes. My head is so full it feels like it’s going to explode. I’m desperate to tell Tori about the two sticks buried in my trashcan. It’s on the tip of my tongue to do so, and swear her to secrecy, when she finally speaks up.
“Ella, have you considered...that Oliver did hire Warren and can’t remember?”
No one has doubted him since those cops showed up at my door. Not one of our friends or family. My first reaction wants to be anger, but I tamp it down. She still must see it flash across my face because she sits back and softens her voice.
“Listen, I would’ve never thought he was capable of hurting anyone, especially not Alden, but it’s getting harder to ignore what’s being discovered. He talked to Dean Warren. He sent them money—”
“We don’t know he sent it. Just that the account was registered to his business.”
Ignoring my interruption, she continues, “Then the Warrens just happen to rob a store Alden wasn’t even supposed to be in. He should’ve been in the limo on the way to the arboretum. Except Oliver showed up with that sports car.”
“He did that because Alden always dreamed of driving one.”
Tori nods and looks me in the eye. “I’m not saying I believe he did it. But, if it were anyone else, we’d think they were guilty. I wonder if our hearts are blinding us to the truth.”
“He isn’t anyone else.”
“No, he’s Oliver. A boy who wanted his brother’s girl. Maybe he never stopped. Plus, the name of the account you told me about, spare funds.Spare.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“Maybe not,” she sighs, sitting back. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”
My voice cracks when I try to speak, and I sip my drink before trying again. “Tori, I need you to be on my side. There’s too much…it’s too much.”
“Hey.” She reaches over and grabs my hand. “I’m always on your side. I’ll always have your back, but that means telling you the truth too. I don’t want to think he could’ve done it, but I also think you should prepare yourself for that possibility.”
I squeeze her hand. “I can’t. I can’t let myself think for a second that he had any part in it. There must be some other explanation for the money and the calls between them. If Oliver could just remember. More memories are coming back to him every day, and I keep hoping that will too. He didn’t hurt his brother. He’s innocent. He has to be. Because the alternative isn’t something I could survive. If he’s the person who killed Alden, and I took care of him, fucked him, fell for him…” My stomach turns, and I swallow hard, then shake my head. “No. No.”
Tori regards me for a moment. “Have you fallen for him, Ella? Or are you holding on to the last part of Alden that still lives?”
It’s not the first time she’s asked me that question. My answer is honest and it makes me ashamed. “I don’t know. Either way, I don’t want to lose him.”
