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It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell Oliver about the pregnancy over the next week. Part of me is screaming that it isn’t fair to keep it from him. Which is true. I’ve been holding out for both of our sakes because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. Now I am.
I’m sitting in my car in the parking lot of my doctor’s office, staring at the first ultrasound picture that confirms that yes, I’m going to be a mother. I even heard its little heartbeat a few minutes ago.
Ten weeks pregnant.
That means it happened the first time we slept together. Unbelievable.
I’ll admit I entertained the idea of terminating it. This is not the way I ever envisioned having a child. I was supposed to be married, stable. It was supposed to be planned. It was supposed to be Alden’s.
Guilt washes over me along with that thought. It feels like I’m betraying them both. Alden by having a child with his brother, and Oliver by bemoaning what might have been instead of celebrating what we have. He loves me. There’s not a doubt in my mind he’ll love our son or daughter.
Soon, I’ll tell him.
Then I’ll be able to tell Tori too and not feel like I’m keeping a huge secret from the two most important people in my life. Tori is gone for the week on a cruise ship. Paul surprised her with the trip, and they picked a good time to leave.
A blizzard watch has been announced for our city, and while we’re no stranger to snow, this one could shut things down for a couple of days. There are a few more errands I need to run before I go home. Thankfully, groceries aren’t on my list because the stores will be a madhouse right now, but I do need to fill my gas tank and try to find some driveway salt.
There’s a short wait at the gas station as panicking people fill every gas container they can scrounge up. After I’ve had my turn, I return to my car to find a missed call from Oliver.
I tap on the screen on my dash to call him back while pulling back out onto the road. “Hey! Still coming to get snowed in with me, sexy?” I tease.
“Ella.” The weight of his voice instantly makes my stomach sink.
“What’s wrong?”
“Lowell called. He was right. The competency motion was denied. Either I try for a plea bargain or go to trial.”
I pull over and park in the lot of a dollar store. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”
“That’s not all. With the new evidence, the prosecutor has added another murder charge for the clerk’s death.” His monotone speech is worrying as he continues. “He’s also asked them to revoke my bail.”
“What does that mean?” I whisper.
“It means I’ll go to jail until the trial if the judge agrees.”
“They can’t do that! They already agreed to the bail and the anklet! You haven’t broken your radius once!” I exclaim, tears welling over.
“Lowell said with the additional charge added, the judge may decide I’m a flight risk. He told me to get my affairs in order. If the judge revokes my bail, they’ll issue a warrant and I’ll be expected to turn myself in or they’ll come get me. It could be in the next couple of days.”
This can’t be happening. It’s too fast. Everything has been inching along and we should have months if not a year before he even has to go to trial. Now, he could spend that time in jail.
“I’m on my way,” I tell him, swiping the tears from my face.
“No, you don’t need to come here. I need some time to think.”
“Oliver.”
“I love you, Ella. Wherever I end up, I need you to know that, okay? I love you.”
Sobs shake my chest. “I love you too. I’m not leaving you alone today. I’m on my way.”
He doesn’t argue any further. I’m on autopilot throughout the drive to Stokes Brothers. All I can think of is getting to him. When I arrive, I know he isn’t there even before Milo tells me.
“He took off. Said he needed a drive to clear his head.” Milo sighs. “Did he tell you what Lowell said?”
I nod, trying my best not to burst into tears again, and Milo gives me a hug. “Wait here with us. I’m sure he’ll be right back and be glad to see you.”
