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“Oh, thank God. It’s negative,” she says.
I find myself smiling back at her but it’s not because I’m excited to know that she isn’t pregnant. I’m smiling just because I’m caught up in her happy mood. The truth is, I’m not sure I am as happy about it as she is. I had kind of wanted to be a dad for a moment there, but judging by Summer’s reaction to the negative result, that isn’t something that is going to happen for me if I want to be with her. Her reaction seems like someone who definitely has decided she doesn’t want children.
“Come on,” I say, standing up and taking her hand in mine. “Let’s go through to the bedroom instead of perching on the side of the bathtub.”
She opens the trash can with her foot and drops the negative pregnancy test into it and then she lets me lead her out of the bathroom, down the hallway and into the bedroom. I walk her over to the bed and we sit down on the soft mattress side by side. Our backs are against the headboard and our legs are stretched out in front of us, although we aren’t underneath the covers.
“So, you seem pretty relieved,” I say.
That’s an understatement really but I don’t want to say she seemed ecstatic in case I have gotten the wrong idea. I haven’t though. I know I haven’t, and Summer confirms it when she nods her head and laughs softly before speaking.
“Damned right I’m relieved,” she says. She peers at me with a frown. “Wait. Aren’t you relieved too?”
This is it. This is the moment when I either admit I want children and risk losing her, or the moment when I tell her I too am relieved and give up any notion of being a dad but having this beautiful woman in my life. It’s a no brainer really.
“Yeah, I guess I am relieved as well,” I say. “I didn’t really have time to process it enough to be so outwardly relieved that’s all. Don’t get me wrong Summer, I would have stood by you whatever the test result was, but to be honest, I’ve never really pictured myself as having kids.”
That’s it. That’s the decision made. It was never really like I had a choice. I love Summer far too much to lose her and if being with her means I can’t have children of my own, then that’s a price I am willing to pay. Of course, I could have told Summer that, but I’m afraid that she will think I will resent her or whatever down the line if she thinks I do want kids and I’m only holding off on having them because of her. She might decide that she is better off ending things because of it.
I will never resent Summer. This is one hundred percent my choice but it’s definitely going to be easier not having to try and convince Summer of that. Plus, I never want her to see men with their children playing in the park or walking down the street or whatever and have her feel guilty because I don’t have that. I’m the one who has decided my choice, not her. She has no reason to feel guilty, but I still think there’s a fair chance that she would, and I would hate that for her.
She smiles at me and shuffles closer to me on the bed. I put my arm around her shoulders and gently pull her against me. She seems happy that I don’t want to have children and I think I made the right decision by taking away any possibility of her feeling guilty about me not getting to be a father.
I know we’re meant to be taking things slowly and I have never wanted to jeopardize that but right now, I feel like I need to tell Summer how I feel about her. It’s not like we’re actively taking things slowly as such anyway. We’re together pretty much every evening and all weekend. And she did tell her parents that she thought she was falling for me. I have to do it before I lose my nerve, and if it scares her, well then, I will have to deal with that when it happens.
“Summer?” I ask.
She makes a “hmm” sound and I wait for her to look at me. After a few seconds, she lifts her head up from where she has rested it on my shoulder and looks up at me.
“I know this is crazy and far too soon, but I need you to know, I love you,” I say.
For a second, she just looks at me, her face expressionless, not speaking, and I panic. I have done the wrong thing. She’s trying to find the words to let me down gently. Oh God, what have I done? Why did I have to ruin things? Am I going to lose her?
All of those thoughts tumble through my mind in the split second after the words leave my mouth and not even a second later, Summer smiles at me. She looks down for a second and then she looks back up, looking me in the eye.
“You’re right. It is far too soon, but that doesn’t change the facts, does it? I love you too,” she says.
I lean in and kiss her, and I pull the towel off her head, releasing her still damp hair. I push my fingers into it, close my eyes and deepen the kiss. Summer pushes herself up onto her knees without breaking her mouth from mine and she cocks her leg over me and sits down on my thighs.
Then she moves her mouth from mine, kissing down my neck and then running her tongue up it. I open my eyes and my cock springs to life when I see that Summer has removed the other towel and she is now sitting on me completely naked.
She straightens up and smiles at me. I reach out and cup Summer’s breasts, one in each hand. I massage them, feeling her nipples harden beneath my palms. I run my fingers gently over them, teasing her, and then I take a nipple between my thumb and forefinger of each hand and pinch them. She moans and I pinch them harder. She gets that look in her eye, the one that says she is about to fuck the life out of me. She leans forward and grabs the bottom of my t-shirt, pulling it up and forcing me to release her breasts. She pulls the t-shirt off of me and throws it off the bed onto the carpet.
She grins at me and then she lifts herself up and tugs at my pants. I lift my ass and let her pull them down, my boxer shorts with them. They come off and get thrown onto the floor as well and we’re both naked. Summer grins at me again and then she puts her forefinger into her mouth and sucks on it. Making a tight O with her lips, she pulls her finger out of her mouth. It is glistening with her saliva, and I hear myself moan when Summer lifts herself again and slips her finger between her lips and starts to rub herself.
I watch the show for as long as I can bear it. Summer has almost brought herself to orgasm. Her eyes are closed, her lips parted. Her head is slightly back, and she has a half smile on her face. She’s panting and her hand is working so fast it’s almost a blur. Watching her like this is making me want her so bad and she’s not the only one who is on the verge of climaxing.
When I can’t stand the torment any longer, I reach out and pull her hand away and replace it with my own. I slip two fingers inside of her and I push my thumb against her clit. As I massage her clit, I move my fingers inside of her, running them over her g-spot. Within moments, she’s coming, screaming my name, warm liquid running down my hand and coating my thighs beneath it.
I pull my hand away from her pussy and her clit and then I push my cock inside of her before her orgasm has even finished. Her eyes fly open as I fill her, and she bites her lip in a way that makes me moan. I pull her towards me and kiss her as I buck my hips and she moves up and down on my cock.
She runs her hands over my head and down to my shoulders and she clenches her pussy around me. She pulls her mouth from mine and moves her head beside mine. She nibbles on my ear lobe and then runs her tongue down my neck. As she teases me with the feather light touch of her tongue, she slows down on my cock, lifting herself slowly until I’m almost out of her and then coming back down even more slowly, taking me into her in tiny stages.
It's delicious but it’s also like torture and I can’t stand it much longer. I run my hands down her bare back and caress her ass cheeks and then I move my hands to her hips, moving her up and down faster. She fights me and I can’t take it anymore and I push her to the side, and we roll. I’m on top of her now and I fuck her hard and fast. She grips me with her knees, moving with me, no longer teasing.
My orgasm floods me and I slam into Summer one more time, hard. It hits the spot for her, and she orgasms with me. We are a mix of gasps and moans and tingling pleasure and liquid – so much liquid – as we both come.
Finally, it’s over and I roll off her and we hold each other as we lay beside each other getting our breath back. Summer smiles over at me when she has herself back under control.
