Page 42 of A Wild Heart


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“Can I ask you something personal?” she questioned and I let out a deep breath, feeling in my bones where this was going.

Still, I answered with a polite, “Sure.” She was my friend and I wanted her to feel like she could ask me anything even if I didn’t really want to answer.

“How come you and Parker don’t have anyone else? Like where’s your family? Where’s Andy’s family?”

I moved around her, concentrating on her cut so I didn’t feel sick as I told her the truth. “Andy was an orphan, so he didn’t have any family. And my parents aren’t really in the picture.”

“Oh,” she said sadly. “Can I ask why not?”

I came around the front of her and cut some long layers around her face, but didn’t look into her eyes. “Well, when I was seven, my little brother died, and my parents didn’t handle it well. So they sent me to live with my aunt and uncle in another state.”

Miranda sucked in a breath, but it didn’t shock me. This wasn’t the first time I’d ever told anyone this story. “I’m so sorry. Did they ever take you back? Did they visit?”

I shook my head with a sad smile. “Nope. And my aunt and uncle weren’t the greatest either. They treated me like I wasn’t there. They were more focused on their own children and I can’t blame them, really. I shouldn’t have been their responsibility.”

But I had to give it to my family. They’d made me the best mom because I knew exactly what not to do. I’d never give Parker away. Instead, I made her my everything.

Miranda didn’t seem as forgiving by the look of hostility on her face. “That’s just awful. All around.”

I nodded again because she wasn’t wrong. It was terrible. But I’d managed to leave out the really awful part.

The smell of burning flesh. Ash in the air. Screams all around me. My stomach rolled as the memories flooded me from all those years ago. And then I’d just been shipped off like some parcel. Do not return to sender.

Sweet, sweet Miranda wouldn’t be able to handle that. Hell, I barely could, so I changed the subject as quickly as possible. “But I have y’all now and you guys aren’t so bad.” I forced out a fake laugh, trying to lighten the damn mood.

“Let’s just hope Holden starts acting like he’s got some sense around Weston,” she said, taking the hint and changing the subject.

“I sure hope he doesn’t chase Weston off,” I half-joked.

Miranda leaned back and looked up at me from the chair. “Girl. Who you telling?” She lowered her head so I could finish her cut but kept on. “He means well, you know? He’s worried about you, but we’ve had a long talk about how you’re a grown woman and he needs to back the hell off unless you ask him for help.”

I let out a long sigh. “Well, I appreciate it. And I know he just wants to protect me. I feel like he thinks he’s doing what Andy would want him to, but honestly, I’m okay. I’m a big girl and I can handle myself.”

I said the words, but I didn’t feel them. I somehow knew even then that maybe I was getting in too deep with Weston. Our conversation that evening in his bed proved that. We had crossed some kind of invisible line that I felt like I couldn’t step back over again.

There was no going back after our talk. It hadn’t been the cuddling. It had been the confiding that had done it.

But I couldn’t think about that now. I wasn’t ready to give up my time with him yet.

I trimmed a bit off the ends of her hair and changed the subject because all of a sudden it felt way too heavy. “So, is that why you wanted to talk? So you could grill me about what’s going on between me and Weston?”

She didn’t answer right away, so I paused my cut and peeped around the front of her to check on her. “Everything okay?”

“No,” she said, clearly flustered, giving me a half smile. “Everything is fine. There’s just something I wanted to tell you. Really talk to you about.”

“Oh,” I said, my heart feeling like it had plummeted somewhere into my stomach. Was she going to tell me I was throwing mixed signals again? Was she going to say that I wasn’t good at this friendship thing and she was out?

It wouldn’t have been the first time, but this time I wouldn’t have seen it coming like I had with the others.

I felt like I was making progress with Miranda. I really was trying with Miranda. I wanted this friendship. I prayed she knew that. I thought for sure she did.

But still, that nagging feeling was hanging in the air all around me. I told myself that wasn’t it. That I was just responding to emotional trauma from past experiences in my life. That I always thought everyone was going to leave me, so my mind was conditioned to go there because, ultimately, they had.

I’d been abandoned too many times.

Miranda reached out, taking my hand. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s good news actually. I’m excited and I wanted to share it with you.” Her face was reassuring, so I pulled a chair out from the dining table and took a seat.

“What’s up?” I asked, genuinely curious because she had this weird mixture of excitement and dread on her face and I couldn’t figure out what the hell she was going to say to save my life.

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