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Camden’s room is the farthest down the hall. Conrad and Emree pop into his room on the right after unlocking it and wave to us as they close it. When I get to Camden’s room, I knock before checking if it is locked and then slowly open it.
Of all the things I imagined seeing tonight, this is not even close to being one of them. Sitting on the bed, the side I have slept on multiple nights, is Chloe. Her seashell top is barely covering her large breasts as she slips it up her arms and clips it in the back. Her hair is a tangled mess, and she pulls her skirt down, adjusting it, as she stands up.
All the air leaves my body as I look at Camden lying beside her. His glasses that he wears at night after he takes his contacts out are crooked on his head. The white button-up shirt is pulled out of his pants and wrinkled. Underneath he is wearing a tight Superman shirt. His belt is undone and his zipper…his zipper is pulled down, and his pants are down enough to expose the front of his white boxer briefs.
Chloe must sense someone at the door and when she turns to me, there is an evil smile on her face. Her red lipstick is faded and smeared and when I look back at Camden, I can see the faded red coating his lips. He is lying there with his eyes still closed, not even realizing I’m standing here, witnessing what I can only describe as my worst nightmare.
“Oops,” Chloe says. “Sorry you had to find us like this. Your boy here just needed a real woman for the night, and I couldn’t say no to that handsome face and incredible body.” She leans over on the bed and kisses him hard against the lips. Barely opening his eyes, Camden moans and kisses her back.
My heart feels as if it was just shattered into a million pieces. I clench my stomach and drop to my knees. Somewhere I hear a scream.Was that me?
I’m being lifted into the air and arms are wrapped around my body. I want to fight them. I want to kick and scream and run into that room and confront the man who told me he loved me. The man I gave myself to. The man I trusted more than anyone in this world.
Something comes over me and I scramble to get out of the hold someone has on me. I fall to the ground and land on the grass.When did I get outside?
The hands reach for me again and I fight them off. “No! No! Why? Why would he do this?” Something wet is covering my face and I didn’t even realize I started crying.
“Blaire, I need to get you away from here,” Mateo says.
Jules comes in front of me and blocks my view of the house while Mateo has his arms around my waist, keeping me from running back inside. “Sweetie, I need you to breathe. You have to try and calm down.”
“Blaire!” Emree runs out of the house with Conrad behind her. “Blaire, what happened?”
“H-he,” I sob and dive into my best friend’s arms. She holds me as I cry into her shoulder. “Please take me home. I need to get away from here.”
As she cradles my head, I feel her body go rigid. I can’t bring myself to say the words out loud. Though the image of what I saw in that bedroom keeps replaying in my head, I want nothing more than to get it out. My stomach clenches as I remember Chloe putting her top back on and adjusting her skirt. Before I can stop myself, I’m out of Emree’s arms and vomiting into the grass beside us. Everyone jumps back to avoid getting splashed as my best friend comes behind me and pulls my hair back as I empty my stomach right there in front of our friends and strangers.
After my stomach has nothing left to come up, I sink to the ground and cover my face with my hands. Emree is rubbing my back in a soothing way, but it is doing nothing to help. I just want to get away from here. Away from his friends, his house, his party. Him.
“Please take me home. I can’t be here anymore,” I whisper to her. I’m afraid to look up and see the faces of the people who have grown to become my friends in the last few weeks. Afraid to see the pity on their faces as they look at me, a sobbing, vomiting mess on the ground.
“I got you, Blaire,” Emree says as she wraps her arms around me.
I avoid looking at anyone as we walk to the car. I know Conrad is behind us, though, and hear Emree and him exchange words here and there on the way, but I tune them out. I don’t want to think about what just happened. I don’t want to see his friends or him or anyone who reminds me of the man I love. The man who broke me in a matter of seconds. The man who made me think I could trust him with all my heart.
In one night, he broke my trust. Something that has taken me years to give to someone was destroyed in a matter of seconds. I hate him. I hate him for making me love him. I hate him for making me think he loved me back. I hate him for ruining everything I have worked so hard to overcome.
But most importantly, I hate him because I still love him.
32
CAMDEN
I’m dead. This is what death must feel like. Never in my life has my head felt this foggy or been pounding this hard. Throughout college and even high school, I have been drunk on several occasions, but alcohol never did this to me. It hurts to even move.
As I try to open my eyes, I snap them shut. The sun is coming in through the window beside my bed and the bright light is making the headache worse.
“We know you’re awake, so get over whatever the fuck hangover you have going on because we need to talk to you,” Conrad says from somewhere in my room.
“Fuck, what time is it?” My throat is dry, and the words sound scratchy as they come out.
No one answers me and after rubbing my eyes, I open them to see four angry faces in my room. Conrad is standing at the end of my bed with his arms crossed. Mateo and Levi are leaning against the wall beside the door. Maddox is sitting at my desk with the chair backward and his arms leaning against the back of it.
“It’s almost noon, fuckface,” Maddox says.
I look at him and my usual fun-loving and joking friend is serious and means business. “What’s up with you all? You look like I ran over someone’s dog or something.” I sit up and the movement causes my stomach to roll. If there was anything in it, it would be coming up at this moment.
“Were you seriously that wasted last night?” Conrad asks.
