Page 63 of The Act of Trusting


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I grab my head. “I guess so. I only remember drinking six beers, but hell, maybe it was more. I don’t know. I’ve never been this drunk before.”

“You don’t remember anything last night, do you?” Levi raises an eyebrow.

Closing my eyes, I try to think back to last night. I remember getting ready for the party, the people showing up and filling our house, Chloe being a bitch and not leaving me alone, and going outside to watch the games of beer pong. That’s where my memory ends. I try, but nothing is coming back to me.

“The last thing I remember is watching some games of beer pong. Chloe was being a bitch and not leaving me alone, but you got her away from me.” I point to Maddox. His jaw twitches.

“Apparently, my efforts weren’t good enough,” he says through clenched teeth.

Ignoring what he said because I don’t want Chloe to take up any space in my head, I look at Conrad. “What happened? Did the girls ever show up? And how did I even get to my room?”

“You’re a goddamn idiot. You got wasted and really fucked up your girl.”

My body goes cold. “Whatthe fuckare you talking about?”

All my roommates look at each other, silently communicating who is going to tell me what they’re talking about. They look at Levi, our unofficial dad of the group, and he sighs. “Dude, you got wasted and, well, you fucked Chloe.”

This time, I do lose my stomach.

* * *

It takesa while for me to get it together enough to process what they tell me. Blaire walked in and found Chloe in my bed putting her clothes back on. I was on the bed, my shirt rumpled and pants undone. I try to remember any of it, but I can’t. I wouldn’t have believed them if my clothes weren’t exactly like how they said they were last night.

There is no way I would have fucked Chloe. Even in my drunken state, I wouldn’t go that far. Or would I? I can’t imagine I would. She repulses me with her desperation and clinginess. But maybe I did? Could I have really done that?

“It couldn’t have been what it looked like,” I whisper to no one in particular. My head is resting in my hands as I sit on my bed, willing my brain to remember what happened, but nothing comes back to me.

“I was there, man. Jules and I both were. It was exactly how it looked, and I gotta say, it looked bad. I’ve also never seen someone scream like your girl did. Don’t even think she realized she was too,” Mateo tells me.

Blaire. I don’t even want to imagine what she is thinking right now. If I were in her position, I would be on a murdering rampage, finding whatever guy touched her. Never would I intentionally hurt her, but fuck, I’m questioning everything with not being able to remember what even happened.

“I can’t remember. I can’t fucking remember, and my head is killing me. How the fuck did I get so drunk that I can’t remember touching a girl I have wanted nothing to do with and can’t stand?”

“Dude, you need to figure out what happened last night because you lost that girl. I’ve never seen someone so heartbroken. She couldn’t even look at us.” You can clearly see the sympathy in Conrad’s eyes. “She was like a robot walking to the car. Em says she hasn’t even come out of her room since last night.”

My heart breaks even more knowing she is hurting. I want nothing more than to go to her, but I can’t without knowing what actually happened last night. If I did fuck up, and I truly hope I didn’t, I can’t hurt her. I wouldn’t be able to stand it if I did this to her.

“I need to talk to Chloe.”

“Fuck that. She’s the reason this shit happened,” Maddox says as he stands.

Rubbing my temples, I try to rid myself of the headache that is still lingering. “She’s the only other one who was there and can tell me what the hell happened. I need answers before I talk to Blaire. There’s no way I fucked Chloe. It couldn’t have happened. I wouldn’t do that to Blaire.” The more I say it, the more I keep trying to make myself believe that I would never do this to the woman I love.

Maddox claps his hands together. “Okay, first things first, you need to shower because the smell of you is making me sick.” He looks at Conrad. “Second, you take care of that nastiness. He missed most of the trash can and you know I have a weak stomach.”

Conrad peers down at the mess on the floor where I did, in fact, miss a lot of the trash can. “Why the hell do I have to clean that up? And who made you in charge?”

“I did, duh. As Cammy’s bestie, I’m in charge of Operation: Get His Girl Back. You think you can do a better job?” Maddox raises his eyebrows. “You’re barely holding onto your girl by a thread.”

Conrad rolls his eyes and exits the room without responding.

Maddox claps his hands together twice, making me want to strangle him for what that does to my head. “Chop-chop. Get that butt in the shower and freshen yourself up. We have a ho to find.”

Getting up is easier than I thought it would be after having enough time to control my throbbing head. After grabbing a towel and steading myself as I leave the room, I focus on getting into the shower and cleaning myself up.

As I sit under the hot stream of water, I close my eyes and try to come up with any memory from last night. Every time I get somewhere, it stops when I was out back. With the shampoo being washed out of my hair, Chloe being outside with me flashes through my head. Her hands on my chest and her body pressing against me. The memory ends and I try to get it back. No way would I entertain her enough to think that she can feel me up like that. I had to have pushed her away.

After rinsing off and getting changed, I head to my bedroom and see Conrad on the floor, cleaning up the puke. “Hey, man, sorry about that. I can clean it up.”

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