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“Please, Shaq.”
She closed her eyes. The sound of her nickname, of their shared history echoing through the word, tore through her like a jagged knife. She’d messed this all up. She should’ve never taken that step with him, never pushed to cross that line. A crush had been manageable. A crush meant she still had him as a friend in her life. Now she had neither friend nor lover. Now she couldn’t have him at all. “Please don’t make me do this,” she whispered. She opened her eyes and looked at him. “I know you probably think it will make it better. But please don’t make me sit here and listen to why I was right to end this. Please don’t big brother me.”
“I’m not your brother,” Auden said, voice gruff.
“Auden…”
“I’m not your brother. Or your keeper. Or your old friend from home.” He laced his fingers with hers and then got down on one knee. “I’m just fuckingyours.”
She sucked in a sharp breath, the words and his position scrambling her brain. “What are you doing?”
Len walked over, and to her amazement, he knelt next to Auden, looking up at her with those beautiful green eyes of his. “We’re doing what we should’ve done that morning of the fire. Begging for fucking forgiveness for being absolute jackasses. Begging you not to walk away.”
“I—” She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“That day,” Auden said, his hand still holding hers, “you told me you needed to end things because you loved me.”
She winced.
“And that you were scared and ashamed or embarrassed that you’d do anything to hear me call you my good girl,” he continued. “That feeling that way must mean something was wrong with you, like you were fulfilling some genetic party girl legacy.”
Her face burned at the memory.
“But”—he pressed a kiss to her palm—“you’re wrong, Shaq. I should’ve told you that then, but I was too scared to say the truth back to you that day. What I should’ve said is that I know exactly how you feel when I call you my good girl because it’s how I feel when you submit to me and let me. Like I’ve won the goddamned lottery. Like I’m the luckiest fucker in the universe. Because, wow, beautiful, brilliant, badass O’Neal Lory is looking at me and giving me this gift.” He touched her cheek. “You would do anything for me to saygood girl?Well, I would doanythingto have the privilege of being the man in your life, to be worthy of that kind of trust from you, to be worthy of your love.”
She was shaking, his words like an earthquake rumbling through her and upending her life.
“I don’t know if I ever will be that worthy, but I asked you to come here today to tell you that I want to try if you’ll let me,” he said. “Because I should’ve never let you walk away and let you think for one minute that you didn’t mean the world to me or that there was something wrong with liking what we did. I love you. And I’ve been a fucking wreck since you left.”
I love you.The declaration was like a sonic boom in her brain, in her heart. Auden Blakelovedher. Her knees literally went weak. She’d always thought that was just an expression, but it was as if her muscles had liquified. She put her hand on Len’s shoulder, afraid she would fall.
Len placed his hand atop hers and cleared his throat. “I can’t top that speech, and I know we don’t have history like you and Aud do, but Sweets”—he met her eyes—“you unravel me. What the three of us shared was special. I’ve never seen someone so inherently brave and beautifully, naturally kinky. I fell a little more in love with you every day we spent together.”
Tears filled her eyes. Auden and Len. Both of them on their knees in front of her, telling her they loved her. Even in her wildest of fantasies. She hadn’t dared to imagine this.
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
Auden’s throat bobbed like he was nervous. “You don’t have to say anything and you don’t owe us a thing. We just needed you to hear what we had to say, to have all the information before you made a decision. We know this is complicated. We’re still figuring it out ourselves. But we didn’t want you going another day thinking that what we had was just a fling, or that you leaving didn’t destroy us. We want a relationship with you. We love each other and we love you.” Auden’s eyes were misty now. “And I’m so fucking sorry it took me this long to see you for the woman you’ve become. One who knows her own mind and her own heart and doesn’t need some guy telling her what she feels.”
Her tears spilled over, and she sank to her knees in front of them, the weight of the last few weeks falling off her shoulders like a heavy wool coat. How in the hell was she ever going to find the words to respond to all of that?
Auden and Lennox were quiet now, and both seemed afraid to move, like they truly expected her to hear all of that and then hand their hearts back to them and say no thank you. She slipped her hands from theirs and then leaned forward, wrapping her arms around both their necks and pulling them to her until her head was sandwiched between both of theirs, their cheeks pressed together.Auden. Lennox. Hers.A sob choked her.
“I don’t know how to do this. I didn’t even know wecoulddo this. But”—she smiled through her tears—“I did wait a really long time. I was alone…a really long time. Maybe Idodeserve two of you.”
Len laughed and Auden joined in, relief ringing through it.
“You definitely do, Sweets.” Len kissed her temple. “You deserve it all.”
She closed her eyes and absorbed the words, inhaled their scent, and then she released them.Mine.She stood and they followed her up. She stepped back a little so she could look at both of their faces. “I love you too.” She took each of their hands. “Both of you. Aud”—she twined her fingers with his—“yes, you’re bossy, always have been, but you’re wrong. You always saw me. You may have been the only one when I was growing up. And I’ve loved you for so long that it’s become a part of me.”
He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, the connection warm and perfect andright.
“And Len,” she said, turning to him. “You have the biggest heart of any guy I’ve ever met. You make me feel safe and heard and cared for. And I love the way you love Auden.”
“Thank you,” Len said, his voice catching. He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her with tender affection. When he pulled away, he turned to Auden and kissed him.
O’Neal’s thoughts stuttered and then burned away as she watched Auden’s lips part and accept the kiss from Len, his hand going to Len’s hair.Whoa.
