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Auden laughed. “Why?”
“Because this is totally doing it for me. I am ridiculous,” she declared.
“No,” Len said. “That’s the point.”
She lowered her hands and he was standing in front of her. “What is?”
He squatted down in front of her and cupped her chin. “You’re not ridiculous. You’re perfect.”
Auden sat next to her and put his hand on her knee. “Perfect for us. We love you exactly as you are. We wouldn’t change a thing.” He leaned over and kissed her behind her ear. “Because you’re such a very. Good. Girl.Ourgood girl.”
Yes. That.
She closed her eyes and let the blissful feeling of their praise and love roll over her. Maybe they were right. Just because it was complicated and different didn’t mean it was wrong.
In fact, she’d never felt so right inside as she did at that moment, like the combination to the intricate lock inside her had finally clicked into place and the safe had opened, revealing the most private, precious things about her. Things that they adored and would cherish.
She didn’t have to pretend with them or put on a façade or be someone they wanted her to be. She’d performed on some level her whole life, keeping things bottled tightly, keeping things neat, never being a bother, a burden. She’d been a good girl in the worst way, the way that had allowed those around her to lock her into fulfilling their expectations while ignoring her own.Goodin her grandparent’s world had been a trap.
That had started to unravel that day in the kitchen with Auden. He’d seen past the polished exterior and to that secret place inside where her desire lived, where she had dreams of her own, where the fire of who she could be burned hot but quiet.Why can’t you?He’d thrown that bomb into her world. Why can’t you have what you want? Why can’t you be who you want to be?
Why can’t you?
With them, she finally could.
And she was going to be so verygoodat it.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
Auden woke up with a smile on his face. Since the night of the fire, he’d been waking in the middle of the night as a pattern but this time it wasn’t from nightmares. He blinked into the darkness, the remnants of his dream fading, and heard Len’s soft snoring beside him. At first, this threw him, but then the night rushed back to him.Lennox. O’Neal.All three of them spending the night exploring, making love, keeping the kink to a minimum for the moment and just celebrating that they’d all finally gotten out of their own way. Part of him worried it had all been a dream.
He reached out for O’Neal but found Lennox’s bicep instead and no one between them. The empty space made his gut clench. Was she okay? He didn’t think he could bear it if she was having second thoughts. Careful not to jostle Len, he climbed out of bed, grabbed a T-shirt from the floor, and tugged it on as he headed out of the bedroom.
When he stepped into the darkened living room, he could make out a silhouette in the chair near the window, the sight giving him a rush of relief. O’Neal was wrapped in a throw blanket, knees to her chest, and was scrolling through her phone. He cleared his throat, hoping not to startle her.
She looked up, the blue light of her phone revealing her surprised expression.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
She shifted in the chair to turn toward him, a gentle smile on her face. “Hey. Did I wake you?”
“Nah.” He walked over to the spot on the couch nearest her and sat. “I’ve developed a habit of middle-of-the-night waking it seems. Everything all right?”
Her phone screen went dark, leaving only the moonlight coming in through a crack in the curtains to illuminate her. “Yeah. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep.” She gave him a self-deprecating smile and tapped her temple. “Busy brain.”
“Bad busy or good busy?”
“Good busy, I guess, but…” She scrunched her nose. “Also a little—probably a lot—embarrassing.”
“Oh.” Well, that piqued his interest. “Why’s that?”
She looked to be debating for a moment but then sighed, unlocked her phone, and turned the screen toward him. “I might possibly be working my way through your references in your presentation.”
He blinked at the screen and then a delighted laugh burst out of him. His studious Shaq had been up doing her research. He loved that her first instinct was to learnall the thingsabout kink immediately. She’d probably be able to write a dissertation on it by next Tuesday and teach them some things.
“And how’s that going for you?”
“Good. They’re actually really helpful links.” She glanced away. “And I just…like to know stuff.”
