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“I love that you want to research everything. Don’t look apologetic about it. I just want to make sure that…” He searched for the right words.
“What?
“That you know you don’t have to get an A in this,” he said gently. “We can all figure this out together as we go along. The universe of kink is vast. Some of it will work for us, a lot won’t.”
She chewed her lip. “I know. But I also know that y’all have a lot more experience and are used to…other people who do too. I don’t want to—”
“Stop.” He took her phone and placed it on the coffee table, turned on a nearby lamp, and then beckoned her with his hand. “Come over here.”
He scooted over on the couch, making room.
She pursed her lips, looking adorably defiant. “Why?”
“Because if we’re going to have this conversation, I want you next to me. Come on.” He patted the spot beside him.
She huffed a sigh, shrugged out from under the blanket, and then joined him on the couch, cross-legged and facing him.
He turned to face her fully, trying to ignore the fact that she looked as enticing as he’d ever seen her—hair mussed, face washed clean, and wearing only a pair of panties and his T-shirt. He wanted to pull her onto his lap and make her feel good again, kiss away that wrinkle in her brow, but he could see the vulnerability in her eyes. This wouldn’t be fixed with a make-out session.
“First,” he said, holding her focused stare, “I can’t deny that there were other people before. But, I can promise you that there has never been anyone like you. For me or for Len. That fact has been plaguing me since that day you kissed me in the kitchen. I was done for. You’re special. We love you.”
She gave him a small smile. “I love you too.”
He leaned closer and, in a conspiratorial tone, said, “And I’m not saying that to exploit your exceptionally hot praise kink.”
She snorted. “Shut up. I’m still trying to figure out why that does it for me so much. You don’t want to know all the answers I’ve come up with in the last hour,” she admitted. “Those are some dark hallways.”
“I know. I get it.” He reached out and tucked a loose hair behind her ear. “And I can’t answer your whys for you, and Lennox would tell you we don’t need to, that some things just are and it’s okay. But for what it’s worth, knowing you like me calling you my good girl and that you want praise from me? Knowing that you like being shared between us?” He licked his lips, trying to find the right words. “Undoes me.”
Her eyes flared with heat.
“So did you fighting back that first night we were all together. Because I know part of that was real. I really didn’t deserve an apology that night. I was the one who’d fucked up.” He shook his head. “But goddamn, O’Neal. The way you—I can’t think about it too much because I’ll just get hard again.”
Even in the dark, he could see her cheeks darken. “I don’t know hownotto feel a little embarrassed about that. The whole faux force thing. That I…liked it. I’m reading up on it, but my inner feminist is very confused.”
He nodded. “I’d argue that it’s pretty damn feminist to own whatever it is that turns you on instead of letting society dictate what’s acceptable or not. But like I said, I get it. I promise you I can top you on the don’t-want-to-admit-to-that-out-loud scale of what gets me hot. You have no reason to be embarrassed.”
Her lips curved wickedly. “Well, now you gotta tell me what you’re afraid to admit to. I mean, it’s only fair. We’re dating now.”
“Nuh-unh.” He shook his head. “Nope, not a deal I made, Ms. Lory.”
She tilted her head in challenge. “Wow. Don’t make me do the chicken dance, because I will.”
She raised her hands to make them into little beaks, threatening the dance she, Maya, and he used to do as kids when one of them chickened out on something first. No one wanted to be the subject of the chicken dance.
He laughed. “You wouldn’t.”
She cocked her chin at him. “Start talking, Aud. You’d want to know my secret fantasies.”
He sighed. She was right on that account.
“Okay,” he said, feeling a little queasy at the thought of saying this out loud to her, but if they were going to be together, they had to trust each other. He wanted to be her safe place, but now he had to be brave enough to let her be his too. He cleared his throat. “Want to know what dream I had when I first fell asleep tonight?”
She nodded, her gaze not leaving his. “Tell me.”
Just say it, he chastised himself silently when the words wouldn’t come.Jump in the cold pool. One, two, three, go!
“You on your knees in your high school uniform calling medaddyand asking me to teach you how to use sex toys,” he said in a rush. “So if you want to talk about dark hallways, I’ve got some. Becausewhat the fuckis that?”
