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I comb through my hair and roll it up into a high bun. I grab a scarf and use it as a headband, hoping to keep tendrils of hair from flapping in my face, in the car. I wash my face and hold a cold washcloth over my eyes, trying to get rid of their puffiness. I put on a bit of make-up so I don’t look so splotchy and don’t burn in the sun. I stretch my neck to get a better look at the hickey Cole gave me last night. It’s bright red. I shake my head, trying to be angry about it but secretly liking that he physically marked me. I pull on a pair of skinny jeans and a long, white, silk shirt, one of the many gifts from Cole I’ve been so callus about. When I’m done getting ready, I look around the bedroom for my phone, but it’s nowhere to be found. Great, I’ve had that thing for a day, and I’ve already lost it.
“Cole, do know where my phone is?” I ask as I come out of the bedroom, slipping a pair of black flats on. He’s changed his shirt to a white striped button down and is wearing his baseball cap backwards.
“It’s on the counter, baby.”
On the counter, my phone is lying face down with a hot pink Hello Kitty case on it. I flip it over in my hands. I smile, the gesture melts my heart. Cole remembered my other phone case, and he’s okay with it being silly and childish.
I shove my phone in my pocket. I turn, smiling, but it quickly fades. Cole has his back to me and is talking on the phone. “That’s fine. Let me know when you’ve completed the maintenance, and she’s ready for flight.” He disconnects his call and shoves his phone in his pocket.
My chest constricts. “Is everything okay?”
Cole adjusts his ball cap turning it around, then rubs the back of his neck. “Yes, the jet just has a part that needs replacing. It’s going to be a few hours before it’s ready for flight.” He glances up at me and tries to smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Are you ready to go?”
I nod.
In the elevator, I feel this buzz of energy spark hot between us. I can’t help remembering our romp in here the other day, and my cheeks burn with remembered passion. Cole’s face looks a bit like mine feels, and we both get that look of desire. But it’s also filled with an underlying current of tension. Neither of us say anything.
Outside, Cole holds my hand and helps me into the 458 and then climbs into the driver’s seat. I watch him has he puts his seatbelt on. This is it. My breath comes out heavy. How do I tell Cole I don’t want to leave when I made such a scene last night? How do I make amends for my actions? This is too much. I want to take all my words back. Love has to be enough, it just has to.
“Kate.”
I jump at the sound of his voice. “What?” I squeak.
For the first time since last night, he gives me that beautiful smile of his that made me fall in love with him. He leans into me and pulls my seatbelt over me. I take a long, deep breath, breathing in Cole’s cedar and mint smell. He’s too much of a temptation, and I haul Cole’s face to mine. My kiss is hard with need. I’m so scared that love won’t be enough to hold us together. Cole kisses me back, thrusting his hot silky tongue into my mouth; his kiss is rough all-consuming, like this may be our last. All our fears manifest in this one kiss.
Cole’s lips leave mine. “No,” I cry, crashing my lips back into his, wet tears streaming down my face.
“Kate, baby.” Cole cups his hands around my face, wiping my tears away. “Let’s drive for a while and then we’ll talk, okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper.
Once we’re on the freeway, Cole takes my hand, resting it on his knee. We’re quiet. The silence between us is easy, but there’s something off and it makes me wary that one wrong word will snap the peace between us in two. He turns off I-15 onto the Great Basin Highway. We drive past the main part of the dam, but don’t go over the bypass bridge. Cole pulls off the road onto a small look out. For the first time, I notice the Escalade a few yards back.
Cole’s silent for a long time. His fingers flex and unflex around the small black steering wheel. The tension in the car rises, and I feel like I can’t breathe. My fingers grip the door handle.
“Please, just wait.” His voice is low, I can’t place his tone. My fears bubble up to the surface, telling me; this is it, this is the end. Tears prick at my eyes; it isn’t possible to fall in and out of love like this. This is ridiculous. Either Cole loves me, or he never loved me, and I refuse to believe that of Cole.
“Cole.” It comes out louder than I expect. “Sorry,” I mutter. Cole picks up my hand that’s still entwined with his, kissing my palm. He holds it to his face. I lightly caress his cheek, and he leans into it.
“Kate, please baby, don’t leave me. I know I messed up, I’m so sorry. I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to lose you.”
The tightness in my chest lightens but doesn’t disappear. “But you said you wanted me to go. I should go, I’m a distraction. I’ve caused so many problems this week. I’ve taken you away from meetings.” Tears streak down my cheeks. “I don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to cause problems for you anymore.”
I can’t seem to think. I open the door to get out, but my seatbelt catches me, and I scream through my teeth with frustration. Cole clicks the seatbelt for me, and I pull it the rest of the way off and get out of the car. He follows me out, walking around the car to me. I rub my hands over my face. I’m not sure I understand what’s going on here. This is not what I expected.
“Baby,” he sighs, wiping away my tears. “I love you, I want you to be happy, and you have seemed lost this week. Being here in a new place, starting a life with me. As well as trying to adjust to me working on this business deal. Having to take security with you everywhere. I want you with me always. Those words should have never left my mouth. I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you about it, to take back what I said.”
“No, you even packed my bags, made flight reservations for me. You may love me, but it’s not enough for you. We fell too fast.”
“I was angry. I had to get rid of Olivia. I thought Luke would catch up with you in a matter of minutes. When I got home, I yanked your luggage out of the closet. There was never anything in them. I’m sorry I was so upset in the limo. You manifest your anger differently than me. I pulled you to my side because I didn’t want you and Olivia to get into it.” Cole rubs his hand over his face. “This is new for me. I’m used to women falling over themselves to be with me. I set the rules: if they didn’t like them, they could leave. I didn’t care.”
“Is that what you want, a woman who doesn’t think or feel for herself? Some—someone…” I hear Olivia in my head. “Someone there to satisfy your needs at night to keep your bed warm.”
“Dammit, Kate No! I’m telling you, this is an adjustment for me too.”
“But you don’t want to adjust. You want me to go back to Crystal Falls, because it would be easier for both of us.”
“That’s not the reason. The idea of you not being near me, let alone in the same city, hell the same state, makes me crazy. I just…” He trails off and starts pacing again. He takes his baseball cap off, raking his hand through his hair. What is so damn hard that he can’t say? I stand there watching him work himself into a frenzy until it looks like he will lose it. I can’t handle it anymore, and I step in front of him. He puts his hands around the nape of my neck, his fingers curling into my hair. “If I didn’t think someone would see us, I’d rip our shirts off and press your skin into mine. You make me feel whole. I don’t want you to go. I agree, we fell fast, but I love you. I want a life with you. I’m so sorry I said those things.”
