Page 13 of The Engagement


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I breathe in the evening air – still warm from the late-August sunshine, but with a cool note of the night to come. I wish to God that I’d got a cigarette, but I’ve not touched one in fifteen years. I sip the Prosecco I’ve brought outside with me. I had to get out, get away.

Away fromhim.

Engaged, I think.My daughter – to a man over two decades older than her. I know he’s not really thirty-nine. He’s lied to Belle about his age.

I clamp my arms around myself, pacing about the car park. I kick at the gravel, not caring that my expensive heels are sinking into the stones and getting scratched. The least of my worries.

Thebastard.

I find myself laughing – a vaguely hysterical bleat as I stare up at the sky. Perhaps looking for answers. There’s a sliver of moon in the dusk, and the bright twinkle of Venus. I remember lying on the grass with Belle when she was little, staring up into the blackness, looking out for shooting stars, making wishes if we saw one. My eyes go blurry from tears, making rays of light shoot out from Venus.

‘I’ve failed her,’ I whisper, wiping a finger under my eye to head off any smudged mascara. ‘I took my eye off the ball, and I’ve put her in danger. I’ve not done a good enough job of keeping her –us– safe.’

I’ve no idea how he found us, and my confused mind is already trying to convince me that I’ve made a mistake, that it’s not him. Just a lookalike. Or that it’s the shock of Belle announcing that she’s getting engaged that has made me see things that aren’t real. Relics of the past still haunting me.

Go back inside, I tell myself.Get another drink, chat with the guests, make sure Belle enjoys her night…and then he won’t be there. The person Belle brought with her will just be some guy she’s got a crush on – sure, he might be a bit older, but it won’t behim.

Not him…

Not possible.

Just a mistake.

I head back over to the barn entrance. I need to get a grip, face the party, the guests, get the food served, try to make the best of the night, then I’ll figure out what to do.

But one thing’s for certain – I know it’s not my daughter he’s after.

Most of the tables are filled now – the guests having helped themselves to the buffet. The wine is flowing, the music playing, and Belle has a constant stream of attention from friends and family. The trio of school friends from earlier sit at a table with her and…andJackis beside her, the food in front of him untouched as he sips slowly on a drink, his eyes flicking around. Belle was meant to be sitting with us.

I’m watching him from the other side of the room, seated at my table with Rob, Amber and Rob’s parents. Belle is partially blocking my view of him, but occasionally he leans back in his chair, giving me a better look. Rob tops up my wine.

‘Try not to think about it for now,’ he says quietly to me, sliding a hand onto my knee under the table. ‘It’ll blow over, you’ll see. It’s just a schoolgirl summer crush.’

I nod, wishing that were the truth. The more I stare, the more I’m certain it’s him. And he’snotcalled Jack.

‘He looks ridiculous sitting with Belle and her friends. A dirty old letch,’ I whisper in Rob’s ear. ‘He’s a bloody paedophile, that’s what he is.’ I’ve already checked out Belle’s ring finger on her left hand – and there’s nothing there. Small mercies, I think.

‘Technically he’s not, I’m afraid.’

‘Did she say anything else while I was outside?’ I ask. ‘Like where they met?’

Rob shakes his head. ‘I decided not to grill her too much. Best thing we can do is go along with it for now. You know what teenagers are like – tell them to do one thing and they’ll do the opposite.’ Rob keeps his voice low.

I think back to my teenage years – the complete opposite to Belle’s experience of growing up. I’d have given anything for someone to have cared, to tell me not to do things. Something for me to fight and rebel against. But as it was, I had to fight alone.

‘What a wonderful party, Hannah,’ Nancy says. ‘You’ve worked so hard. I don’t know how you kept it from Belle all this time.’

Nancy is the closest I’ve ever had to a mother. Since Rob and I met when Belle was only little, she’s been kind and generous with her time and affection.

‘It wasn’t so hard, what with her being in France for two months.’

‘Cost a fortune,’ Rob chips in, even though I’d tried to do everything on a budget. But he’d still gone quiet when I’d shown him the receipts, run costs past him. While he’s not alluded to much, I know things have been quiet at work for him lately.

Nancy narrows her eyes at me, sensing my concern. She leans forward across the table.

‘Don’t worry, darling,’ she says. ‘Rob’s right. Whoever he is, it’ll blow over soon enough.’

I smile at her, grateful that she’s got a handle on the situation without me having to explain. Though I can never explain everything – not even to Rob. Some secrets can never be shared.

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