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‘I remember when Fliss brought her first boyfriend home,’ Nancy continues. ‘Nearly gave your father a heart attack.’ Whether she’s speaking to Rob or me, she always refers to herself and Bill as if they’re both our parents.
‘God, I remember,’ Rob chimes. ‘I wanted to punch his head off.’
‘I think Bill did, didn’t you, darling?’ Nancy says. Her soft, gently creased face folds in a laugh.
‘Highly likely,’ Bill says, pouring more wine.
‘Fliss was only seventeen, and this lad, well, he must have been nineteen or twenty. All black leathers and tattoos, and a bloody motorbike, if you will.’ Nancy visibly shudders.
‘And he stank of marijuana and sweat,’ Bill chips in.
‘And oil and greasy chips.’
‘A right catch, then,’ I say, giving another glance at Belle’s table. Jack’s seat is empty, and I can’t spot him anywhere else in the room.
‘We were horrified, Hannah, but also knew Fliss was just going through a phase. We told her not to go on his bike, but obviously she did. In fact, everything we told her not to do, she did the opposite.’
‘See?’ Rob says, looking at me.
‘In the end, she had to work out for herself that he was a bad ’un. I mean, I’m not saying that people who wear leather jackets and ride motorbikes are all bad, of course, but this one somehow reeked of…of malice. He barely said a word to us in the six months they were an item.’
‘What happened?’ Felicity, Rob’s sister, is sitting with her husband of many years and their two children. The perfect family, and I know Nancy and Bill are immensely proud of their youngest daughter.
‘That’s easy,’ Nancy says with a satisfied smile. ‘He didn’t fit in with Fliss’s friends, and she soon realised that they liked different things, especially when he was arrested for theft. She dumped him of her own accord and that, dear Hannah, is what Belle will do. A man twenty years her senior won’t want to hang out with a bunch of giggling seventeen- and eighteen-year-olds, mark my word. When she starts to get sidelined by her friendship group, Belle will wake up.’
‘I hope you’re right,’ I say. ‘And thank you.’
I look over again to see that Jack is back in his seat, his arm slung around the bare skin of Belle’s slender shoulders, his stubbled face whispering something in her ear. As he does so, his eyes shoot my way and one side of his mouth curls up.
He knows I know. He knows I can’t do anything. Not now. Not here.
Notanywhere.
‘Right,’ I say to Rob, my stomach doing backflips. I was nervous enough about doing this anyway, but withhimwatching me, it’ll be a wonder if I don’t pass out. ‘I think it’s time for my speech.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
HANNAH – NOW
Keep going, I tell myself, after I’ve done all the initial welcomes and thank yous. My fingers toy with the piece of paper in my hand – memory-joggers so I don’t forget to mention anyone. All eyes are on me.
‘And of course, lastly, I’d like to say thank you to Rob. If it wasn’t for him…’ I look over from the small platform I’m standing on, seeing him sitting back in his chair, a coffee in front of him as he watches on proudly. ‘If it wasn’t for him being the most loving and loyal partner ever, the best of fathers to Belle and Amber, then…well, I don’t think our family would be anything like the strong unit it is. To Rob!’ I raise my glass with a shaking hand and swallow drily, forcing myself not to look over at Belle’s table where I know Jack is watching me intently. But naturally, my eyes want to settle on the reason for the party in the first place – my darling daughter.
‘To Rob…’ echoes back from all the guests.
Rob shoots his hand in the air in a salute.
I clear my throat once the room falls silent again. ‘I…I don’t know how it’s even possible that my little girl has turned eighteen today. It only seems five minutes ago that my darling Belle was a baby in my arms.’
I can’t help it – how can Inotlook at her on this of all days? My eyes shoot over to Belle. She’s sitting, swung round in her chair, with her chin resting on her arms and a coy look on her face. I don’t look athim, though. If I do, I’ll falter, break down.
‘And since those first moments, when I held her in my arms, when I realised she was actually mine forever, life with Belle has been an absolute joy.’ I swallow, remembering her birth – the trauma, the agony, the blood, the panic and screaming. Afterwards, I’d felt so alone – apart from the sound of that damned video playing on repeat on the ancient TV as it echoed through my head.
I clear my throat.
‘Watching her grow into an inquisitive young toddler, an active and bright child as she navigated her way through school…’ I cough, glancing at my notes to keep myself on track, but the words are blurry in front of my eyes, making me wish I’d not had so much Prosecco. ‘And…and then on to high school, studying hard, having fun with her friends, her kindness and generosity infectious to all those around her…Simply put, the joy Belle has brought to our family, to the lives of everyone she knows, is immeasurable. I simply couldn’t have wished for a better daughter.’
Another cough, but this time it’s not mine.
