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My legs are trembling, my ankles feeling as though they’re about to give way in these stupid heels. I drop my hands to my sides so no one notices the paper shaking.
‘Apart from Amber, of course,’ I add with a nervous laugh, glancing her way. ‘But I’m sure she’ll agree that Belle is the best big sister ever.’
I stop, reaching over to the little table beside me, and grab my drink, taking an unsteady and self-conscious glug. Why, ohwhydidn’t I ask Rob to do this instead?
‘I remember once when Belle was about twelve and Rob asked her what she would like to be when she grew up. Her phase of wanting to be a princess was long over – though she’ll always be our princess – and it turned out that she took this question very seriously. She told us she wanted to be a translator, that travelling and using her foreign languages was what she wanted to do with her life. I mean, what a dream to have at such a young age!’ I tuck back a strand of loose hair as my voice falters. ‘We…we encouraged her all the way, of course, and only just today, Belle has returned from…from two months in France studying the language…’
My mind flips to the scare she gave us, not turning up yesterday. And then to her absurd announcement this evening. I want to yell it out, scream at her not to be so stupid, to tell everyone that there’s a monster in the room trying to steal my baby. That a man well into his forties has lied and groomed my eighteen-year-old daughter, and now she’sengagedto him.
But I can’t.
If I so much as breathe a word, then it’ll all be over.
‘So here’s to our darling, beautiful, kind, clever and ambitious daughter, Belle, who turns eighteen today and has her whole life ahead of her! Choose wisely, my love.’
I know I’ve missed out pretty much everything I’d planned on saying – little anecdotes about her life, funny and endearing stories – but it’s all I can manage under the circumstances. I raise my glass, giving her an imploring look.
‘Happy birthday, Belle!’
The guests join in, standing up for the toast.
Happy birthday…to Belle!rumbles around the barn.
I hurry off the platform and back to my table, tears filling my eyes as I drop down next to Rob, shaking and relieved it’s over.
‘Well done,’ he says, leaning close. ‘That was ace.’
Nancy reaches out a hand to mine. ‘Very moving, Hannah. I’ve got photographs.’ She waves her phone at me.
Suddenly, I hear a glass being tapped – the shrill tinkle cutting through the air. The room falls silent again and, when I look up, I seehimand Belle standing side by side on the platform, their arms around each other and big grins on their faces.
‘Thank you, Mummy,’ Belle says, sweeping back her long hair. She makes a little praying gesture with her hands and blows me a kiss. She can’t stop grinning and covers her face when someone calls out for them to sing a song. Another person whistles and claps and then the rooms quietens again whenhetaps the glass for a second time.
‘Yes, thank you indeed, Hannah,’ Jack says, slowly turning my way. His lips linger over my name, each of the two syllables broken down into menacing slurs. No one else in the room would notice this – only me. ‘I thought it was an appropriate time to say a few words myself, seeing as I’m now a permanent fixture in Belle’s life.’
He looks my way again as a few guests mumble to each other. I hear Rob make a growling sound next to me and our fingers interlock under the table, squeezing together.
‘What many of you may not know yet, is that Belle and I are engaged to be married.’
Even more rumblings from around the room and a few shocked gasps, while several other people whoop and clap.
Jack raises a hand to silence everyone, grinning through his neatly clipped stubble as he slips his other arm around Belle’s waist, pulling her closer. Belle rests her head on his shoulder, beaming up at him.
‘I feel sick,’ I whisper to Rob. His expression is blank, though I see the disgusted turn of his mouth, the way his nostrils flare, the frown set on his brow. Nancy and Bill are sitting rigid, staring at their granddaughter and not knowing what to make of it. Amber is on her phone, swinging her legs and looking bored.
‘Now, I know what some of you may be thinking,’ Jack continues.
‘Oh no you bloody don’t,’ Rob whispers to me.
‘Why would a young woman as beautiful as Belle be interested in an older man like me?’
‘Nice if you can get it!’ someone calls out.
‘Who the hell wasthat?’ I growl, peering around the room.
‘The simple answer to that,’ Jack continues, ‘is love. Pure, deep and honest love.’
I scoff loudly and a couple of people nearby turn their heads, raising their eyebrows. I’m not sure if it’s in solidarity or because they think I’m rude.
