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HANNAH – NOW
‘Finally,’ I say to Belle. ‘I’ve got you alone.’ When I spotted her heading off to the toilets, I went after her. She’s washing her hands and smiles up at me.
‘So, do you like him?’ Belle says.
‘I…I – look, love, it’s not a matter oflikinghim or not.’
No, I hate him…I hate him for everything he did to me, to the other girls…
‘I knew you’d react like this,’ she says, plucking some paper towels from the dispenser.
‘Well, what do you expect me to say, exactly, Belle? You go off to France, don’t come back when you say you will and then announce you’re engaged to a man several decades older than you who we know nothing…nothingabout.’ I swallow the lie. I know everything about him. And none of it is good. ‘And on top of that, you say you’re leaving school. What about your exams next year? University? You had it all planned out. Your gap year, your language degree, your dream of travelling.’
‘Mum…’ Belle says, reaching out and touching my arm. Her fingers are still damp. ‘Things change, yeah? Jack’s a good man. We…we just get each other. I can’t explain it, but he’s really in tune with me. The age difference isn’t such a big deal.’
I shake my head, catching sight of my panicked face in the mirror. ‘Has it occurred to you what a man his agewantswith a young girl like you? You’re barely more than a child, Belle. It doesn’t show him in a good light. And what’s with all this meeting in a playground rubbish? Did he tell you he had puppies and sweeties in his car? You’re lucky your father didn’t come up and wallop him.’
‘Mum, stop.’ Belle is laughing. ‘I was just hanging out with Jen in the park one afternoon. Jack was sitting on a bench nearby. We kept catching each other’s eye and when Jen went home, he came over and spoke to me.’
I feel sick. It’s taking all my strength not to run into a cubicle and throw up the small amount of food I forced down earlier.
‘When was this…chance meeting, exactly?’ I ask, suspecting there was no chance involved.
‘It was May. Right at the end of half-term.’
‘Does that not strike you as odd? That a stranger was watching you in the park? He clearly made a beeline for you. And now, only three months later, he’sproposedto you?’
Belle’s face falls serious. ‘Look, Mum. I’m not having this discussion in the toilets. You either accept it or you don’t. I’m eighteen now, and I can do what I like.’
I grip the edge of the basin, staring directly into the mirror. Belle stands behind me in her beautiful cream dress. When I bought it for her, I had no inkling of what would happen when she finally got to wear it.
‘OK,’ I whisper, forcing a smile. ‘Let’s not talk about it now. How about Dad and I give you your present, eh? I can’t wait to see what you think!’
Belle watches me, then smiles. She gives me a hug, which I reciprocate, unable to help the thought thathisarms have been around my daughter.
‘Thanks, Mum,’ she says, and we head out of the toilets.
‘Amber, where’s my tote bag, darling?’ I lean down so she can hear me as the DJ has turned up the music again. A few people are dancing.
She’s sitting with her friends in the comfy chairs away from the dance floor, and glances up from her phone. Her eyes dart about, then to the floor either side of her feet. Then she stands up, her gaze switching between the table she originally sat at when I gave her the bag and the table where our family ate dinner.
‘Hang on,’ she says, her cheeks colouring up as she rushes off.
‘Amber!’ I call out, following her, but she doesn’t hear me above the music.
Before I reach our table, she’s already bent down and checking around, before running off to the first table.
‘Where is it, love?’ I say, catching up with her.
She peers up at me from the floor, on her knees and half under the tablecloth. A second later, she bounces up, grinning with the cloth bag dangling in her hand. My flat shoes are poking out of the top.
‘Thank you,’ I say, relief sweeping through me. ‘I did ask you not to take your eyes off it.’ I give her a quick hug.
‘Sorry, Mum,’ she replies. ‘Forgot.’ She trots off back to her friends.
I take the bag back to our table, where Rob is sitting with Belle. There’s no sign of Jack, thankfully.
‘Right, present time,’ I announce, loud enough that Nancy and Bill hear and shuffle their chairs closer. I peer into the bag, rummaging through the items I’d shoved in there. I stare upwards as my hand delves around. ‘Well, it will be when I can find it!’
