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‘Stop!’ I yell, grabbing her arm. ‘We need to get out. The fire…it’sreallybad now.’
I take Belle’s hand, stepping over Darren’s twitching legs as he sprawls on the floor, blood pouring out of his body in a glossy puddle around him. Belle keeps her eyes fixed on him as we run to the door, looking back over her shoulder as we approach the stairs. The heat hits us like a wall, instantly searing my face. I whip off the jacket I’m wearing.
‘Cover yourself!’ I tell her, thrusting it at her. Step by step, with me leading, we go down the stairs to the floor below, my arms and face smarting from the heat. The smoke is so thick here I can only see a couple of feet in front of me. ‘Anyone there?’ I yell out, coughing and dropping to my knees. ‘Belle, get down. We have to crawl.’ There’s a little more oxygen down here and, ahead of me, I spot several pairs of bare feet. ‘Stay close!’ I call out to the others. ‘Get on the floor!’
A moment later, I see a couple of terrified girls, their faces smeared with soot and smudged make-up as they huddle together. Suddenly, the floor shifts below us and there’s an almighty crash downstairs as something – perhaps a beam – burns through and gives way. The building shudders and creaks as the fire rips through it. I peer over the banisters, horrified by what I see. A wall of thick smoke and flames has spread all the way up from the ground floor. The staircase is acting like a chimney, drawing the inferno up through the centre of the Cloisters. And it’s clear that the crash was the lower portion of the staircase falling away where the fire started.
‘Oh God, ohGod, this is all my fault…’
I feel around the wall, my hand settling on a door – realising it’s the door whereshedied…where I once cried out those same words as I realised what had happened. What I’ddone.
‘Mum!’ Belle screams, burying her face, coughing and pointing down the stairwell. When I look, I see the body of an old man with wispy grey hair tumbling into the pit of flames. Belle is sobbing and choking…and I need to do something. There’s no way we’ll make it down. Not now. The fire is out of control.
‘Get back upstairs,’ I yell, suddenly remembering. I usher Belle and the other two girls up to the attic. ‘Go into the bathroom and wait for me there…Shut yourselves in and put wet towels at the bottom of the door.’
Belle nods and leads the two girls upstairs again.
Then I crawl through the open door to the massage room where I found Belle, pulling the sheet from the bed, wrapping it around me and over my head and face. There’s a packet of wet wipes on the table, so I grab a bunch of those, pressing them against my nose and mouth. I crawl out of the room again on my hands and knees, heading along the landing to check the other rooms. Thankfully, they’re all empty, but then I hear a commotion on the landing below. It’s Luba and she’s screaming for help, so I edge down the next flight of stairs as far as I dare.
‘Help! We’re trapped!’ she screams over and over.
Through the thick smoke, I can just make out the shape of several people lying on the floor, Luba included.
‘Up here,’ I scream out. ‘Come up to the top floor!’
‘There are girls here,’ she cries out. ‘And more, somewhere…’
‘Send them all up,’ I call back. A few moments later, a trail of four girls, all coughing and crying, clamber up what’s left of the staircase. As they reach me, I usher them on. ‘Keep going to the top floor,’ I tell them, not knowing if they even speak English. ‘Go into the bathroom!’ I have to shout to be heard over their screams and the roaring of the flames. ‘Luba?’ I call down again. ‘Have you found them?’
She doesn’t reply, so I go to the edge of the flight down again, virtually on my belly now to even have a hope of breathing. ‘Luba? Can you hear me?’ My throat burns. Just then, another three girls stumble up the stairs, one of them helping another who seems to have hurt her ankle. They’re all filthy and terrified.
‘Here,’ I call out. ‘Give me your hand.’ Between us, we drag the hurt girl up to the top floor, just making it up before another loud crash below tells me that more of the staircase has collapsed. ‘Is that all of you?’ I ask, and one of the girls nods frantically. No one else will be making it up, and my only hope is that Luba has somehow made it out. But I can’t think about that now.
I lead them up to the bathroom on the top floor, where I find Belle and the first two girls. Then I stand on the bath and reach up to the skylight, pulling it down with all my weight. It sticks at first, but then gives and swings open. ‘Help me up!’ I call out, grabbing the frame to heave myself up. Belle wraps her arms around my legs and shoves me up with all her strength. God knows how I do it, but I manage to wiggle myself up and through the window so I’m half in and half out, peering down the sloping tiles to the gutter.
And then I see it – the flat roof below where we sometimes used to sit and smoke, watching the city from above, hiding from everything we were trying to escape. But there’s no time to think back, to remember the ghosts. Instead, I duck back down into the bathroom and jump off the bath.
‘We have to get out this way,’ I say, my voice shaking. It’s our only chance. ‘Listen to me…once you’re on the roof tiles, carefully slide down and you’ll be on the flat roof and safe until we’re rescued, OK?’ I look at each of the terrified girls, including my daughter, all of us squashed in the small bathroom. It’s clear that several of them don’t speak English, as two of them are talking to each other in another language, their words choked up in their sobs. ‘Belle, you go first and then you can haul the others up. I’ll give them a lift up from here. Then show them where to go when you’re out.’
‘I will, but Mum, but how will you get up?’ Belle says, hesitating.
‘I’ll…I’ll manage…don’t worry about me. Come on, get up on the bath.’
Belle does as she’s told and, once she’s got a good grip on the wooden window frame above, I grab her legs and shove her upwards, knowing that she’s strong and lithe and will get out easily. Then I help the next girl up and out, her legs dangling down as she writhes for her life, forcing herself through the gap with Belle tugging her from the roof above. The room is filling up with smoke fast, so we work quicker, each girl grappling her way through the opening, coughing and spluttering as they breathe in fresh air. I hear them sliding down the tiles to safety – safety as long as the fire crews find us there.
Finally, I shove the last one up and out, sweat dripping from me as I use up my last reserves of energy. ‘Are they OK?’ I call up to Belle, who’s peering down through the skylight.
‘Yes, yes, they’re fine. Hurry, Mum, you need to get out!’ She reaches down for me as I haul myself up onto the edge of the bath, knowing I have to make one final push. It’s the sound of more of the building collapsing inside that drives me on, and I use all my might to jump up and grab the window frame. But my fingers lose their grip and I drop back down again, landing on the floor beside the bath. I’m not as agile as I used to be.
‘Mum!’ Belle screams.
‘It’s OK,’ I say breathlessly, coughing. I get up and try again, determined to make it. This time, I latch onto the frame, kicking off from the bath with my legs. Belle grabs my wrists and pulls with all her might, but it’s no good. I simply don’t have the strength or energy to do it.
‘Belle…’ I say up to her, looking her in the eye. My voice is faltering and barely there, my throat hoarse and clogged. ‘You go…scream for help…firemen will come…they’ll lift you off…’
‘No! Mum!’ she screams, refusing to let go of my wrists. She sobs, tears dripping down her face and onto me.
‘Go, Belle…’ I say, wondering if those will be my last words to her.
