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Seth's face was a mixture of worry and disappointment. "No lunch, huh?"
I couldn't be certain, but I suspected lunch with him would have involved both food and sex in some surreptitious location. Damn. I wanted both.
Sadly, I shook my head. "I wish I could...but this comes first. I'm sorry." For half a second, I remembered Maddie in the office, so sad and heartbroken. I even thought about Dante and his compulsive spending. If I had any scrap of morality left in my damned soul, I'd tell Seth that we needed to end this, right now. But like every other time I'd told myself that, I never listened. "Maybe...maybe tonight, though..."
Roman and I would be done searching. Dante might be around, but well...I'd deal with that later. I felt confident I could dodge any plans he might want to make. Details like that didn't matter. Only being alone with Seth again did. How could being around him affect me like this?
He nodded, as eager as me. "Call me when you're free."
I started to joke that I'd never be free, but that wasn't what he'd meant. Standing up, I hoped I looked like I was leaving a platonic conversation and that I wasn't actually struggling with the temptation to kiss him good-bye. We stared at each other for a few heavy moments, and with his eyes, Seth said a million things, both sweet and indecent. Walking away, I was certain that anyone who'd seen us would instantly realize what was going on-but no one seemed to be paying attention to us.
My shift wound down rapidly after that, and as I walked home afterward, I heard invisible footsteps walking along with me. "I know you're there," I said under my breath. I didn't want anyone thinking I was crazy. "Glad to see your voyeur ways haven't changed."
My car was parked behind my building today, and as I rounded the corner onto a quiet block, Roman materialized beside me. He looked gorgeous, smug, and dangerous. The usual.
"I hope you had an entertaining time following me around." I took my keys out.
"You should be a reality show," he said. "It's that good. And you know, I might be a totally unstable former assassin, but man. You manage to shock even me."
"Oh, be quiet," I snapped. I unlocked the car doors and slid into the driver's side. "Your snarky commentary is neither wanted nor appreciated."
"It's not commentary. It's me thinking aloud. It has nothing to do with you, really, nor does it require any response on your part."
"This is it, isn't it?" I asked, pulling out of the parking spot. "This is why you aren't going to kill me. You're going to just torture me for the rest of eternity. Long suffering, right?"
He grinned, flashing perfect white teeth against his tanned skin. It triggered a memory in me, how I'd once found that so attractive. Now, though, my fear and unease blocked any sort of desire.
"I suppose that's one way of looking at it. And besides, don't act like there isn't some part of you that secretly enjoys playing this eternally woeful, tormented role. If you were happy, you wouldn't know what to do with yourself."
"That's not true." I was surprised to feel myself blushing. "Stop trying to f**k with me."
"I'm just intrigued, that's all. You wear this mask of moral superiority. So does Mortensen. Yet, here you two are, sneaking around."
"You don't understand. We're in love." The wry look Roman gave me immediately made me regret my words.
"Oh, I understand. Believe me, I do." I kept my eyes on the road. He had once told me he loved me, and I'd thrown it back in his face. "If you guys were so in love, why'd you break up in the first place? You were fawning all over each other the last time I saw you."
"For a lot of reasons," I mused. "It's complicated."
"It always is."
I sighed. Edmonds was about twenty five minutes away. This was going to be a long drive.
"Well, not that it's any of your business, but I mean, there were a lot of things going on. We were having communication problems, for one thing."
"How terribly mundane."
"And I was starting to freak out-you know, about how he could die. I didn't think I could handle that." I waited for Roman's snide response to that, but there was none. "And, of course...I mean, there was always sex. I wouldn't do it. I couldn't stand the thought of stealing part of his life away. Our love wasn't dependent on sex...but well, it still muddled things up."
"And now you have no problem with sex."
"Because I can't hurt him now! Look, I can't help the timing-or the fact that we still care about each other."
"Or the fact that each of you have significant others." Now I stayed silent. Roman tipped his head back against the seat thoughtfully. "In all my observations this week, I've got to admit, I like Maddie."
"I like her too," I said quietly.
"But that guy you're dating? Well, I think you can do better."
"I'm almost starting to wish you'd kill me."
"Oh, I've thought about it," he said. To my dismay, the joking was gone from his voice.
Again, I refused to look at him. "I'm sorry...about Helena. I never meant for that to happen."
Roman gave a laugh that sounded like it choked him. "Oh? What did you think would happen, then? A slap on the wrist? I survived it, and I was still in pretty bad shape."
"You said you were going to kill Carter. And I didn't know who else you'd go after," I said quietly. "I didn't know what else to do. There was no easy option for me."
"There would have been if you'd really loved me like you said you did," he replied bitterly. "And I told you I'd leave the rest of them alone."
"It was too late when you told me that. By then, I'd already called for help." I didn't add that in a way, I really had loved him. It had been different from the way I loved Seth, but it had been love nonetheless.
"Well, whatever. It's not relevant now. Finding Jerome is what's important." Out of the side of my eye, I saw him study my profile. "Of course, I'm surprised you've been so eager...it's going to put an end to your little affair."
"It's going to come to an end anyway. I'd rather have Jerome in my life afterward than some other demon." In my mind, I could see Seth's kind eyes and gentle smile. I could almost feel the way his hands touched my body. "I'll have the memories, at least. They'll stay with me."
"Memories." Roman shook his head. "How the hell can someone who f**ks random men for a living be such a romantic idiot?"
I didn't answer that, and the rest of our drive contained little conversation. The place we were going to in Edmonds was another park. Funny, I thought, that humans kept sectioning off these magical places and preserving them. I wondered if they sensed that power on some inherent level. I'd read up a little on this park and how it had some significance to Native Americans in the area. Surely that was promising. It was a small beach flanked by a woodsy area with picnic tables. Children ran around while their mothers watched.
"This place isn't very strong," said Roman, once we were out of the car. "There's a little magic in the earth but not much. I can't imagine they'd hide Jerome here-they'd want a lot more to mask it."
I refused to let that drag me down. "We have to look. We don't know anything for sure."
The park wasn't huge. I suspected it would take us less time to search it than it would to drive back. Just as we'd stepped out of the parking lot, my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number. "Go on without me," I told Roman. When I answered, the voice was no one I recognized.
"Is this Letha, also known as Georgina Kincaid?"
I grimaced. Only high-up hellish employees called me by my original name. "Yes."
"This is Ephraim, from Internal Affairs." The demon's voice was clipped and hurried, giving the impression that I was the one who'd called him and interrupted something. I found it amusing that he'd called me rather than speak in person. More efficient, I guessed.
I sat down at a picnic table. "What can I do for you?"
"Nothing, I'm sure. But I've been instructed to interview all lesser immortals in the area about The Jerome Situation." I could hear the capitalized letters in his voice, kind of like The Manhattan Project. "First, I'd like to know where you were when Jerome disappeared."
"On my way to Canada. Jerome had been lending me out to help Cedric."
