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“It wasn’t your fault.” Tiffany threw her arms around his wrinkled neck. “Or the horse’s. Just…”
“Bad luck.” I finished for her. “It was bad luck. No one’s fault.”
God knew I’d been where Cole sat before, blaming myself for a clusterfuck, unwilling to admit that sometimes shit just happened. And I was angry, so fucking angry at the situation, and mad at myself, but I couldn’t let Cole shoulder the blame.
“Good news.” Duncan returned to our corner. He wasn’t smiling, so the news couldn’t be that great, and indeed, his voice was solemn as he added, “Malik has been moved to ICU.”
“That’s the good news?”
Luckily, Duncan didn’t call me on my rude tone as he took one of the empty chairs. “It means he’s not headed into brain surgery.”
“Oh. Yeah. That’s good.”
“Apparently, they’re running more tests, but so far, no skull fracture or brain bleed, which is the good news.”
“But he’s not awake?” Tiffany asked before I could.
“Not sure. Only so much the nursing staff would tell me as his boss.” Duncan’s face took on a pinched expression, ever the lieutenant used to being able open doors, but apparently, there was a limit to even his powers. “Think they’re keeping him sedated while they run their tests and x-rays. And only family visitors in the ICU. Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” It wasn’t, and everyone knew that, but what else could I say?
“His mother should be here anytime now. He won’t be alone.” Duncan pulled out his phone, scrolling rapidly through some messages.
“She’s coming?” My pulse skittered like tires on an icy road. Good news be damned. Maybe things were more dire than Duncan was saying.
“She’s his mom.” Duncan rolled his shoulders, but the way his mouth twisted said he knew full well that biology never guaranteed a damn thing, let alone support. “She was understandably distraught, but my assistant got her on a flight out of DC.”
“Malik will be glad she came even if he’s mad at himself for worrying her.” Tiffany was ever helpful, and Keely nodded.
“Having his mom will help.”
Easy for them to say. Made everything feel that much more precarious for me, like I didn’t belong there. Around me, the others kept talking. Duncan was getting to know the women and Cole, but I couldn’t muster the energy for the small talk, even when Liam and an exhausted Andre appeared.
“Look who got sprung!” Tiffany stood with a squeal, and there were hugs and introductions all around.
“We got a hotel room down the street. Anyone want to come nap?” Liam asked, and Keely took over, falling into her usual uber-organized mode as she arranged for more rooms.
Turning to me, Keely reached for my shoulder. “Come on, Avery. Come rest. He wouldn’t want you to run yourself into the ground.”
Tiffany and the others all nodded, but I shook my head. “No. I don’t want to leave.”
“I get it.” Duncan’s expression contained a whole damn library as his gaze met mine. I glanced away, but probably not nearly fast enough. “I’ll stay with Avery. You all go on. I’ll text any updates.”
“You don’t have to.” I summoned a feeble protest.
“Of course I do. Told you. You’re my guy. Both of you.”
I glanced around the waiting area, grasping for the first time that everyone was here, not only for news of Malik but for me. They’d come for me, so I wouldn’t be alone. I’d been such a damn coward for weeks, hiding, scared for anyone to guess what Malik and I were up to, missing chances to truly confide in Tiffany or Liam. Tiffany at least had guessed, and maybe Keely and Liam too, and they were still here for me.
“I…” I had no idea what I wanted to say to them other than that I wasn’t worthy.
“It’s okay. Take care of you.” Tiffany patted my cheek before she and the others headed out, leaving me alone with Duncan. I should say something. Anything. Acknowledge how grateful I was that he’d come. Confide because I was weeks overdue on talking to someone.
I opened my mouth to try to explain to him what I couldn’t even make sense of myself, but he was busy with his phone again.
“Malik’s mom is with him now. I’m going to go see if she needs anything and if she has more news for us,” he said as he stood. “You want to come with me?”
“I can’t.” Meeting Malik’s mother felt like a vertical cliff, and I was without climbing equipment or directions. My fear was at least in part for Malik. He was so damn close to his mother. I couldn’t risk upsetting that, couldn’t risk her looking at me and knowing. Malik was hurt. He needed his mom, not me complicating things, not before we talked.
Please, please let us have that chance to talk. Eyes shut, I resumed my bartering with the universe. My left arm. My kidney. My apartment. Every piece of video game equipment. My job. My dignity. I’d offer it all for Malik to be okay.
