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It was an intense course, and the chance to get away for any length of time was impossible. I was just going to have to settle for video calls. But I was going to make it work. I had to. For Sofia, it was worth it.
As days turned into weeks and weeks stretched into a month, I had adjusted to life on the campus quite well. Gaining tons of experience on the job was one thing but being able to run scenarios that were quite intense, but without the fear of loss of life, was incredibly helpful. Combined with courses on how to handle internal politics, paperwork, red tape, media, and the like, I was finding myself in awe of Chief McDaniel.
How had he gone through all this? I was beginning to understand why he was a man of so few words and why most of them were grumbling, direct ones. He had found that cutting the bullshit and getting straight to the point was a hell of a lot easier than playing political footsie. His example was one that was even taught in the classes. Some people were good at smiling and thinking two steps ahead and trying to play “the game.” Others, like Chief McDaniel, were good at telling people things they didn’t want to hear in a matter-of-fact way that left no room for reinterpretation.
The problem the chief had was pretty clear. He had been understaffed and underfunded for so long that he’d learned to make do with almost nothing. The department suffered greatly, but while it had gained a terrible reputation, Chief McDaniel had at least kept it running and not replaced entirely by volunteers. Now that we had a new mayor and a new governor who had a history as an EMS worker, the funding was there, and the ability to bring in someone to clean up the crew had presented itself.
My understanding of how I’d ended up in Ashford was cleared up quite well from all that. It gave me a level of respect for the chief that was extremely high and also boosted my own confidence. When the funding and opportunity came, my name was the one brought up for the position. That meant I had been recommended for it by multiple people. It felt good to know I was respected in that way.
But while I was feeling good about things in my career, one thing nagged at me the entire time. Sofia was home alone and the distance was a burden to us both. We had been doing video calls every night, and I wanted nothing more than to be with her. But it was hard, and the longer it had gone, the more it felt like it would never end.
The final two weeks of the retreat were even more intense than the four before it. I was working tirelessly and only getting a chance to have a quick check-in with Sofia before passing out in my bunk. She hadn’t missed a call, though, no matter what time of day or night it was.
Until the last day.
I had passed out at nine in the evening the night before, having talked to her in the morning. Now it was eight in the morning, and I was calling her before my last class and exam. I felt like I could use the pep talk and knowing that afterward I was coming home would be exciting.
But the call rang and rang, and Sofia never picked up. Disappointed, I shrugged and shoved the phone back down in my pocket. I was sure she was either already at work, prepping food, or she was still in bed having worked late in the night. Either way, I could talk to her later. When I was on my way home.
To her.
25
SOFIA
The phone showed Kieran’s name, but I couldn’t bring myself to swipe it open. How could I? What would I say? How would I just pretend everything was normal and have that conversation with him when I knew what was going on for real? How could I pretend that I was just as excited for him to get home as I was yesterday, that I wanted to maul him the second he came through the door, that I wanted to spend every minute naked in bed with him until he absolutely had to get up for work?
Not when I knew this secret. One that might make him want to stay in Nashville and never come back.
I didn’t want to think that about him. He didn’t seem like the sort of man who would do that. But the truth was, we were still new. We had barely started our relationship, and then he had to go away for six weeks. Six whole weeks of life without me, more than the time he had spent with me, and a lot of chances to reevaluate and cool his jets. And now, this.
