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“I had no idea, Alex,” she whispers, leaning over to wrap her hands around my neck. “You shouldn’t have to carry that burden. It wasn’t your fault. You were a kid.”
Her words soothe the storm in my chest.
I hug her tightly. Alize is everything I will ever need.
She’s the only person to give me space to express myself, and she’s honored my emotions at every turn—even when they make me crazy. I will always choose her.
“Everything will be fine. I will be fine,” she mutters. “I promise.”
“I promise, too,” I say. “You can always trust me. No matter what happens, it will always be the two of us.”
Alize presses her lips to mine.
THIRTY-FOUR
ALIZE
I gulpdown some water to soothe the itch in my throat.
I’m sitting at an outdoor table at The Ivy, taking advantage of the fleeting mid-morning sun. Today is the warmest day we’ve had in a while, and—though I had to wear long sleeves and fleece-lined leggings—I’m enjoying it.
Tara sits across from me, thumbing through a thick romance novel. We haven’t said very many words to each other since meeting up earlier, but the silence settling around us is comfortable. I look down at my phone to find a text from Alexander.
Just his name in the preview has my stomach in knots.
So much has changed between us. For the better, even. It feels like we have the relationship I spent all those years dreaming about when I was cooped up in my room back home. Alexander has moved heaven and raised hell more times than I can count to make sure I’m safe, to give me what I want, to show me what I mean to him.
Is what we have conventional? No.
Have I found out we’re both alotfucked up? Yes.
But it’sourstory, and that makes it even more special.
That’s why seeing his name pop up on my phone makes me so nervous. Now, I’m conflicted. When I concocted my escape plan, I thought he had betrayed me. The day when I woke up sick, I called my father to let him know that I would be in England over the winter break, to set my plan in motion.
But now I know thetruth, I’m not sure if that’s what I want to do anymore.
In fact, an entirely new future has been springing to life in my mind.
When Alexander graduates, he’s probably going to go back to England. I could go too, even though I’ll still have a few years of school left. My grades should be good enough to get a transfer to a good university there.
It’s no Harvard for sure, but it would besomuch better than this. I could carve out a slice of life for myself, without giving up Alexander. I would finally get a chance to figure out what I actually like, and make concrete plans for my future. I would keep in touch with Tara and Nya, and visit them as often as I can—or they could visit us. The more I think of it, the more I feel like I want something likethat.
Not running away to a strange country to hide in the shadows. No, I only wanted that because it was my only choice at the time. I thought I was backed into a corner.
Alexander didn’t betray me, and he’s willing to commit to our relationship. I think I should give him a chance—he bared his heart to me, after all. It’s a starting point to work on things. Liam and Cassidy won’t be there to muddy the waters, either. It will just be the two of us.
I want a chance at normalcy with him.
It’s an audacious desire, given who we are and the families we are from, but I find myself pining for it nonetheless. I haven’t even mentioned it to Alexander, though because if I do, then I’ll have to explain that bit about my father.
He’s going to be pissed that I tried to run away in the first place.
I’ll have to find a way to deal with my father if I change my mind.
“What are you thinking about?” Tara says, cutting into my thoughts before I can go any deeper. I was just about to consider the alternative—continuing with my plan to run away.
She’s marked her spot in the book with an unopened bandaid. “How we’ve been sitting here for almost half an hour and you haven’t said a single word to me,” I smirk.
