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Loving them won’t hurt me the way she has.
I take another long drag, kneading my forehead. Beneath me, Saint Frederic University is busy with activity. The afternoon sun barely warms the chill out of the late-October air, and from my vantage point on the Kingmaker House balcony I can see the students going about their lives.
In the distance, Hemlock House stands like a beacon—taunting me.
I made a mistake that night at the hotel.
I shouldn’t have let Alize walk away from me. It’s fucking laughable that she thinks we’re done. That she thinks she can break up with me. In the heat of the moment, it felt like she was on the edge of a mental breakdown and I was afraid I would lose her.
I could have kept her locked up, could have forced her to stay with me. There would be nothing she could have done about it either.
Yet, that’s exactly why you let her go, wasn’t it?
My accusatory thoughts choke the steam out of my blood. Instead, I’m face-to-face with the same realization that’s kept me awake for the past 48-hours.
I love Alize Moreau, and that’s changed everything.
I don’t know when or how it happened, but thoughts of forcing her to do what I want don’t thrill me like they used to. I’ve gotten too used to her smiles, to her moans of pleasure.
Now I know how much she craves the pain, I want to give it to her every day.
I want Alize towantme to break her. I want her to come crawling back to me, begging for me to destroy her because no other love is as devastating as mine.
I want to punish her until all she can think of is me.
Until all she wants is for me to break her and put her back together. Until she doesn’t remember who she is—only that she’s mine. Until she learns that she can never ever walk away from me. Right now, she doesn’t know what she wants.
First, she thought she wanted a title. Now, she thinks she wants space from me.
I’ve proven how I feel about her at every turn. I’ve proven that she’smine.I might have said the wrong things in the fucking bathroom, but I won’t make that mistake again. It’s been two days. My patience has finally worn thin.
I’ve given her enough space.
We can try again.
We have to.
Isn’t that what she said—for me to become her whole world?
My phone buzzes just as I take another drag. I fish it out of the pocket of my rumpled slacks. It’s a phone call from an unlisted number. I answer it with shaky fingers.
I have an idea who it is, but I don’t speak first.
“Alex?”
My brother’s familiar drawl fills my ears. I choke, the smoke burning my throat and nose as I try to catch my breath. Graham laughs on the other end.
“What the fuck, man?” My voice is hoarse, gravelly.
The last time I said anything out loud was during that conversation with Alize.
“You sound like shit,” he says.
I roll my eyes, perching the cigarette between my lips to get a good grip of the railing. I swing my legs back behind the banister, back into the safety of the balcony.
“What’s happened?” I ask, slinking over to the other end of the balcony. I lean against it, looking at the expansive forest just beyond the crest of the hill.
Graham chuckles. “Why the stiff greeting? Can’t I call to check up on my baby brother?”
