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The last time we had sex was when we were getting ready for that ill-fated party. Every time I've tried to initiate sex, he's given me some excuse about ensuring that I'm better. I've been fucking better for more than a week.
I've been so desperate that I've been using the shower head.
But the orgasms are sad and empty.
I want my man.
My hopes are shot when I feel him rustling in the pocket of his sweats. We don't use condoms, so what could he possibly be looking for? He hands me a small square of paper.
I take it from him.
On closer inspection, it's a photo.
"What's this?" I ask him, turning toward the window to get a better view. The photo is definitely old and slightly blurry, like it was taken on a disposable camera but the film didn't develop properly.
There are two young women in the photo.
"I found it in my mum's journal," Alexander says.
Now that he says it, the woman on the right does look like a younger version of the woman I saw in the photo at the estate. The straight blonde hair, the perfect smile. She's a fucking bombshell, that's for sure.
"Your mother looks really beautiful," I say to him. My eyes fall to the jumper she's wearing. Is that an SFU crest? The woman beside her is wearing a matching jumper as well. "It's wonderful that you have these memories of her."
I feel a pang of sadness but try to focus on how good this is for Alexander.
He leans in, wrapping his arm around my midsection and putting his mouth by my ear. "Look at what's written on the back of it."
Odd, but I do as he says.
There's an elegant scrawl on the back.
- Hyacinth Keller & Lilou Alarie, Hemlock House
My eyes pop out of my head.
I flip the picture back around quickly, focusing on the woman on the left. Is this…? My breath catches as I study her face. The easygoing smile, the hazel eyes, the dark skin and tight curls spiraling down her shoulders.
"My mom?"
Alexander holds me a little tighter. "I found it in one of my mum's journals. I always knew that her college best friend was named Lilou, but it was after you told me that I went back and realized that it wasyourLilou."
I can't stop staring at her. "They were best friends?"
"Yes. Mum talks about her a lot in her journals." He presses a kiss to my skin. "I can let you read them, if you'd like."
All my life, I've wondered about this woman.
What she was like, what she enjoyed, if I was anything like her.
"This picture..." My voice tapers off for a bit. I can hardly believe this. "This means a lot to me, Alexander. Thank you so much."
Another kiss. "You're welcome, sweetheart."
We sit in silence for a few more minutes.
I spend most of it just staring at my mother's picture. What are the odds? Our mothers were best friends at the same school where he and I met. Fate sure has a macabre sense of humor.
A tear rolls down my cheek.
