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“You’re so sweet,” I say, leaning over to peck his lips.
He chuckles. “Remember this for the next time you call me an asshole.”
I roll my eyes, taking another bite of my burger. The ice-cold cola compliments it perfectly, and the whole meal feels like exactly what I need in this moment.
We sit in a comfortable kind of silence, watching the blur of the lights as the cars zip past on the street right in front of the parking lot. The crinkle of our burger wrappers, the sound of ice swirling around in our cups, and my occasional grumble of pleasure from how much I’m enjoying the food punctuate the silence in the cabin.
“I didn’t realize how much I needed to get out of the house,” Alexander says when we’re both finished eating. “It’s only been like an hour and a half, but I already feel so much lighter.”
“It’s torturous, I bet,” I say.
I try to think of my own situation, if I would be able to set foot back on the estate after what happened to me there—to Dolores. Just the thought of it has my heart rate picking up and nervous energy gathering in my limbs.
Heck, even seeing my father again after all these months would be a trip. That’s the thing about trauma—you never really know how it affects you until you’ve distanced yourself from it for a while.
“His fucking engagement isn’t making it any easier,” Alexander adds. “It makes me wonder if that’s why he’s so hellbent on living in that house again. Like he’s trying to replace Mum.”
I look at him for a long second before replying. “I think it’s weird too,” I say. “Is that why you got so angry when you saw them together?”
Alexander folds his hands across his chest, a faraway look in his eyes. “My father is nothing if not an opportunist. He married my mum to make a point to her family, since they were enemies. He’s had girlfriends over the years, but it was never anything serious.” He heaves a sigh. “But they’ve only known each other for a month, and she looks like an innocent. Why the fuck would he marry her?”
That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?
No matter which way you look at it, it does seem weird. He’s old enough to be her father. I can think of quite a few reasons why she would want to marry him, but he doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who’s dumb enough to fall for that.
“Right before I passed out in his office, he said something to me,” Alexander says. He’s looking at me now, a solemn expression on his face. “He said that he can have other children, and he would rather appoint an interim leader and leave the Empire to a kid than let me marry you.”
That’s a knife to the chest if I ever heard it, but Alexander doesn’t linger on his father’s obvious hatred for me. “He must be marrying her to have another kid. My father doesn’t believe in having kids outside of marriage.”
Okay,anotherknife to the chest. “What? He doesn’t?”
Alexander shakes his head ruefully. “It’s more like something commonly accepted in our world. Because so much is passed down from father to son, they only acknowledge kids they’ve had with their wives in the line of succession.”
It seems pretty archaic to me. As little as I know about my mother and father, I’m certain they were never married.
“Doyoubelieve that?” The question is on my lips before I can think better of asking him that.
“It’s not something I think about a lot. But, I’m marrying you, Alize. All our kids will be born in wedlock.”
With a shaky hand, I pick up my cup and slurp the last bit of cola from it. I have to push the anxiety out of my mind right now because there’s no use fretting over something like this when Alexander doesn’t even know I’m pregnant yet. But I know for a fact that I donotwant to be pregnant at my wedding.
All my life I’ve been forced to do things I don’t want to for varying reasons. For once, I want something to be my choice. I want to remember it as something Ichoseto do, not because I was forced.
“So you think this is your father’s way of proving he’s serious about his threat?”
Alexander nods. “Yes, and I don’t want him to have another kid. The Empire will be mine. I’ve already made up my mind.” There’s a sinister glint in his eye. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to make it mine.”
I don’t ask him how far he’ll go; I already know.
And I’ll be right there beside him.
FIFTEEN
ALEXANDER
Alize isasleep next to me.
Soft, shimmering moonlight creeps through a crack in the curtains, splaying over her face. She’s lying on her side, her arms tucked under her pillow. A few strands of her hair have fallen free from her bonnet, so I tuck them back under. For all the tossing and turning she does at nights, it’s a miracle it even stays on her head.
