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“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” He takes my palm and presses a kiss on it. “You mean the world to me. I’ll do anything to see you smile.”
My heart feels like it’s grown a couple of sizes. The emotions hit me hard and fast, my eyes burning just as the words swell in my throat. The waterworks are close, and if I’m going to get this out without crying, I need to start talking, now.
“I have something to tell you,” I say, swallowing around the thickness in my throat. Alexander’s interest is piqued, and he leans back in his chair with an intrigued look in his face. “It’s unexpected, but I think it’s a good thing.”
He looks confused. That has a bundle of anxiety gathering in my chest because what if he doesn’t accept this the way I think he will? What if it makes him angry? What if he doesn't want me anymore?Oh god, what if this was a mistake?
“Well?”
My tongue suddenly feels two sizes larger than it should be. Have I forgotten how to speak? I just need to get it out of the way, right now. It’s all in my head. I just need to say it.
“I found out a few weeks ago that—”
A loud, high-pitched sound startles me.
At first, it feels like I’m in danger, like I need to get up and run. But a second later, the sound becomes familiar, and I realize what it was. It’s a phone ringing, Alexander’s phone. He fishes it out of his pocket.
“This is important,” he says, already getting up from the table. “Hold that thought, sweetheart. I’ll be right back.” Then, he’s walking away from me, toward one of the restrooms.
I’d been holding my breath the entire time. When I finally take a deep breath, my chest aches, and my ears pop. I clasp my hands together under the table, kneading them until the coldness disappears. I’m a little happy that Alexander stepped away. It gives me some extra time to get a grip on my feelings before I tell him the news.
While he’s busy taking the call, I talk myself up.
He’s going to be happy.
This is good news. My anxiety is lying to me.
Everything is going to be okay. We’re going to be okay. We’ll both figure it out.
I hear the bathroom door open and his approaching footsteps, and I’m ready. I’ve figured out my feelings. My anxiety was just nervous energy, excitement. I stand up as he approaches, a bright smile on my face.
He turns the corner, and my heart falls all the way into my stomach.
The moment I look at him I know something’s wrong—he’s scowling, and practically stomping toward me. The anxiety I worked so hard to get rid of a few minutes ago is back tenfold.
What could have gotten him this angry? Was it a call from his father? His brother?
My mind whirls.
I’m about to ask him what’s wrong, to offer to help, but I don’t even get to. His steps pick up when he’s close. Alexander grabs me by the arm and drags me out of the building.
NINETEEN
ALEXANDER
I closethe door behind me and walk deeper into the stall.
It’s a big enough bathroom, and I’m certain I’m the only man in this building, but I just want to be sure. It’s already bad enough I’m taking this phone call right now.
The last thing I need is for somebody to overhear what we’re talking about.
“Alexander.” Lev’s voice is crisp through the speakers. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”
I roll my eyes. It’s always been annoying when people whoknowthey’re interrupting something ask if they are. What would he want me to say? Yes, you’re interrupting a special moment with the love of my life.
If I answered the phone, I obviously want to talk.
Already I’m regretting taking this call.
