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His Adam’s apple bobs. “Your father killed my mum, Alize.”
The words mean something but I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. I let go of him, pressing the heels of my palms against the side of my head, pacing toward the window.
My father killed Alexander’s mother.
It’s as if the whole world is holding its breath. The room is eerily silent, even the wind outside, the night-time sounds of winter creatures–it’s all stopped. Everything is watching this interaction, waiting to see what will unfold.
How he reacted today makes sense now.
“Are you sure?” I hear myself ask, but I already believe him. I watched my father nearly sever Dolores’ head when I was a child. He told me himself that he’s a killer. It doesn’t shock or surprise me. I know he’s capable of that and more.
Alexander nods, his cold eyes glued to me. “I’m sure.”
Those two words are so heavy that I crack under the pressure of them. Before I can think better of it, I’m crossing the room toward Alexander, wrapping my arms around his hard torso, burying my face in his chest. “I’m so sorry, Alex. That’s…”
I can’t even finish my sentence. What do you even say to something like that? The beautiful woman I saw in those photos–my father took her life. If I needed any more confirmation that I was right to stay away from him after he reached out to me, this is it.
He ruined Alexander’s life the same way he ruined mine.
It’s when I pull my face away to look up at Alexander that I notice the tears blurring my vision. I blink them away, inhaling with a sniffle.
“I can understand if you hate me,” I say. “I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry, Alex.”
“It isn’t your job to apologize for him.” He swipes a thumb along my damp cheek. There’s more warmth in his voice than earlier. “It’s obvious that you didn’t know.”
We stand in silence for a long time, just holding each other. I hug him tight for all the words I can’t find, to let him know that I might not understand how he feels, but if I could take away all the pain, I would. The last bit of humanity I thought my father had has withered now that I know this.
He killed a woman. Amother.
And from everything Alexander’s told me about that day, he would have killed him too if he didn’t hide. Now, the inexplicable pull I felt when I saw Alexander for the first time makes sense. It’s a cruel twist of fate, to throw us together like this—but we’re probably the only two people in the world who can understand this.
Alexander presses a kiss to my hair, hugging me even closer.
“I wasn’t acting like myself earlier. I’m sorry,” he says. “You were right. We needed to talk it out. It made me so angry, Alize. But I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did.”
My whole body trembles. “It’s hard to talk about.”
“But it’s the truth, so we have to.”
He moves us to the ottoman at the foot of the bed, and we end up sitting side by side. Alexander holds my hands in his, our knees touching and our bodies angled toward each other. His gaze is fixed on mine, but I’m finding it hard to hold his. I can’t stop the shame I feel–the disgust.
“What are you feeling?”
Alexander’s shoulders slump.
“Mostly just anger,” he says. “And a little bit of relief, too. The masked man who took Mum away has haunted my dreams ever since it happened. I guess, I’m a little relieved to know his identity.”
I squeeze his hands tighter. I can already figure out where this conversation is going, why he’s told me—especially after what he saw when he went through my phone. I sit up a little straighter, preparing myself for the inevitable.
“He deserves whatever you want to do to him,” I say.
Alexander’s eyes widen slightly with surprise. “You know how it works, don’t you?”
“A life for a life.”
The side of Alexander’s mouth tips up slightly in a forlorn smile. I just gave him permission to kill my father, but I don’t feel any remorse about it. There’s a tiny voice in my brain that’s telling me I should feel guilty, but I couldn’t feel that way even if I tried.
Every memory I have of my father is tainted by his rage, sullied by his selfishness. He ruined my childhood and kept me locked away from the world. Dolores is dead because his enemies wanted their pound of flesh.
