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I have a busy day with work, and I’m determined to get right to it. After a shower and two cups of coffee, I log in, check Lily’s social media, and settle into my daily tasks.
I’m in the midst of proofreading a book when a knock sounds on my door and gets Roger yapping.
It’s the middle of the week, and I’m not expecting a delivery. I’m at a loss. I have no idea who it could be. Maybe a neighbor?
I get up, go to the door, open it, and—
“Jackson, what are you doing here?”
His dark-blond hair is back, and his eyes… Those spectacular eyes.
He walks in as if he owns the place, Roger scampering around him for attention. This is no different from any other time, but today it disturbs me. Especially since I was up all night crying about him.
And now…he’s going to see my face.
But he hardly looks at me. He heads to the kitchen, grabs a mug out of the cupboard, and pours himself a cup of coffee, which I’m sure is now cold.
He takes a sip, wincing a bit.
Yep, it’s cold.
“Listen, Mandy,” he says, pacing around my apartment—again as if he owns the place. “Last night… It can’t happen again.”
“I think we already went through all this,” I say.
He doesn’t meet my gaze. “No. We didn’t. I made a mistake. I should’ve never taken you to the club.”
“You can saythatagain,” I agree.
“I just… I can’t feel that way about you, Mandy. It was a mistake, and itwon’thappen again.”
“Okay, Jackson. You’ve made your point. Now throw that disgusting cold coffee down the drain and get the hell out of here.”
He doesn’t move and instead takes another drink of the cold coffee. “All right, Mandy. As long as you understand.” He sets the cup down on the counter.
“I understand fully. But let me be clear as well.” I gather my courage, determined to break out of my introverted shell. “I enjoyed myself, Jackson. I enjoyed what I saw. I’m intrigued. I honestly had no idea a place like that even existed. A place where people can explore their baser instincts. I enjoyed it because I needed it. I’ve been out of circulation for too long, Jackson. Far too long. I deserve better. You know what? Idoneed a teacher. I realize it can’t be you, and that’s fine. I never wanted it to be you in the first place. I didn’t even know you wereonLustr. There were a lot of other men in the club. Men who aren’t attached, or you wouldn’t have been so worried about me being uncollared. I’m betting there’s someone there who might be willing to tutor me.”
He stiffens, leaning against my counter and gripping it, his knuckles white. “The place isn’t for you, Mandy.”
“Not for me? I think it wasyouwho took me there. How can you say that?”
“We’ve been through this. It was a mistake. I’m not sure what I was thinking.”
“I know exactly what you were thinking, Jack. You were thinking that I was too sweet and innocent for something like that, and that I’d go running out screaming.”
He says nothing.
Yep. Nailed it.
“I didn’t run out screaming.”
“You told me to take you home.”
I can’t deny it. I did tell him that, but not for the reason he thinks. I loved what happened between us, and I was intrigued by the club. I wanted to go home because he got quiet and sullen after we had sex.
He has a lot of regrets, clearly.
I do not.
