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“It really is a great view,” he says, more to himself than to me.
I look out over the lights of New York City and a new question comes to mind. “Why is Purgatory New York?”
The Crocodile looks over his shoulder at me and chuckles. “Other than Sinful Delights and Salvation Lights, everything else you see is unique to you. Every soul here sees something different when they leave the bars. Purgatory is only New York to you.”
“Ohhhh. Wow.” I try and wrap my mind around how that works and just can’t picture it. Then again, how can a human mind conceive what angels do? Answer…we can’t. I shake the thought from my mind and focus on why I’m here with Samuel.
“So, what exactly did you want to discuss?”
“Ah, right.” He turns to face me. “I wanted to discuss your future with you. I’m assuming after my last visit that there’s been some communication.”
“Yes.” I cross my arms over my stomach, partially defensively, partially to hide my scars, and partially to just hold myself. “I know that I’m in Purgatory and I only have eight days left before I move on to…,” I hesitate and clear my throat again, “Hell.”
He nods. “a suicide only has one place to go.”
“You know?”
“Of course. I know every soul.”
“Sinn called you, his uncle. You’re an angel too?”
“Correct.”
“So, what’s your role here?”
“I think we’re getting a bit off topic. We’re talking about you now, Dee, and your future. Has Peter explained all of your options to you?”
I furrow my brown in confusion. “Options? No, he hasn’t mentioned anything about options.”
“I see. Well, I guess that doesn’t surprise me, but you do have a right to know. I can’t imagine an eternity in Hell would be your first choice.”
I snort. “Not my first, second or millionth.”
He sighs, as if he’s disappointed with my answer. “That’s what I figured and that’s why I’m here, to make sure you know that you don’t have to go to Hell. You can choose to stay here, with Peter.”
I drop my hands from around my waist and take an involuntary step toward him. “What?!”
“You can choose to stay here, in Purgatory. If you don’t move on by the thirty-day deadline, the portals to Heaven and Hell close forever. You’ll be stuck here, to spend the rest of your eternity in Purgatory.”
“That doesn’t sound like a problem. If my choices are here, what I’m living now, or Hell,” I scoff again, “there’s no choice at all. Why wouldn’t I stay?”
The Crocodile shrugs again.
My mind is racing with the possibilities. Living here with Sinn, for eternity sounds like Heaven to me. I don’t have to live an eternity being tortured in Hell. I mean, c’mon, that’s a win-win. Then it dawns on me.
“Why didn’t Sinn tell me this?”
“Did he not tell you what happened the night he saved you?” Samuel asks, curiously. “What he lost?”
“His shadow wings,” I whisper. “He wants his shadow wings back, and the only way for him to get them back, is if I move on. Like I’m supposed to.”
“Bingo,” he says, pointing his finger at me with a devious grin on his face.
I find the edge of the patio couch and sit on it before the disappointment of my situation can knock me down. I don’t have to go to Hell. All I have to do is stay here passed the deadline and I’ll be safe. Forever. But if I stay, Sinn will also be trapped here forever. Without his shadow wings. Without a huge part of him that makes him who he is. The Angel of Death.
As if what’s left of my life wasn’t already hard enough, now I have this new information to add to the weight of the world already on my shoulders.
Damn myself to Hell. Forever. Or…
