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No more hiding.
“Fuck,” I swear to myself as I leave my bedroom in search of her. I honestly don’t know if I can do this.
I find her on the balcony, standing at the edge, looking out over the night lights of New York City. She’s been out here for two hours. I know she asked for space, but I can’t stay away any longer. My mind can’t stop thinking about her, worrying about her, and wanting to make everything right. The only problem is I don’t have the power to make everything right, and that’s another thing crawling underneath my skin, adding to my anxiety.
I’m not in control.
I slide the glass door open and lean against the door jam, silently watching her. Her long hair is cascading down her back, blowing in the gentle breeze. She’s wearing a black tank top and a pair of black pajama shorts that hug her ass way too fucking tight, barely covering her ass cheeks. And I fucking love them on her. I take in her long, smooth legs, and every beautiful curve of her body on display. Just looking at her turns me on and the devious thoughts running rampant through my mind send blood rushing to my dick. I’ve never had this happen before. Getting hard at just the thought or presence of someone. It’s heady and new and makes my chest tighten and my stomach start somersaulting like a damn Olympic gymnast.
Feelings I’ve never experienced.
Feelings I don’t know how the fuck to handle.
My fingers are itching to touch her skin and I can’t fight the temptation any longer. I don’t want to. I walk toward her in controlled, steady strides instead of like the raging bull it feels like I’m containing inside of me. I don’t stop until my entire front is pressed against her entire back. I lean in and place my hands on the ledge outside of hers, caging her in. Her body is tense and stiff against me, letting me know that she’s still upset about everything that’s happened. I don’t say anything, content to stand here with her looking out over the city.
After several minutes, her body slowly starts to relax against mine and she presses slightly harder into me. I close my eyes, relishing in the feel of her body against me, and let out a small sigh, letting go of some of the anxiety that’s been gripping me. I won’t be able to relax completely until I know she’s okay though. Thatwe’reok.
I remove my right hand from the ledge and find the smooth skin of her thigh. I gently but firmly grip her thigh with my fingertips, massaging her and working my way higher and higher until I reach the edge of the shorts. I trace them, feeling the curve of her ass barely being contained before I move my fingertips forward. I slide them under the hem of the shorts just like I did the night she was on the dance floor in that short dress. Only this time, I don’t plan on stopping.
I can feel the change in her breathing at my roaming touch, but she still hasn’t said a word. I continue moving around her leg until my fingertips come to her center. I glide my thumb over her clit, on top of the shorts, my dick jumping with the knowledge that he’ll be touching her here next. But then her hand clamps down on my wrist, stilling my movement.
“You can’t keep doing this, Sinn.” Her voice sounds tired and sad. “You can’t keep using my attraction and feelings for you against me. It’s not fair.”
I lean down and whisper into her ear, “I’m sorry.”
Words I’ve never said to a single soul before. Not even as a kid when I was doing devious and hurtful things to others. I wouldn’t have meant the words, so why say them? But now, with Wendee, I truly mean them.
She turns in my hold to face me. Her eyebrows are raised, eyes wide in shock. “What?”
“I’m sorry, Wendee. For everything. For not being able to go to you when you needed me the most. For not being honest with you about everything. For not being able to change our circumstances. I can’t change a lot of things, but I can promise to tell you everything you need to know going forward.”
I slide one arm behind her back, pulling her into me, while my other hand slides into her hair, gripping a handful and pulling her head back exactly where I want it. Her lips part as she inhales sharply with the force of my grip.
“But I will never apologize for needing to touch you. For needing to feel you, and kiss you, and fuck you.” I lean down and run my tongue across her slightly parted lips. My teeth clenching as I hold myself back from voraciously claiming her mouth. “I don’t think you understand what you do to me, Wendee.”
“Sinn.” My name on her lips is heavy and breathless. It calls to the predator in me. The one that wants to unleash every ounce of muscle and ferocity onto its prey.
A growl rumbles in my chest, the predator dying to be let loose. “Don’t say my name like that unless you want me to fuck you right here, right now.” I pull her head back further and move my hand to palm her ass, sliding down until I feel the heat between her legs. “And you do want me to fuck you, don’t you, Wendee?”
“We can’t just keep having sex and acting like everything else is ok.”
“Now who’s the one fighting against what they want?” I taunt. “If I pull these shorts aside, I know I’ll find you drenched and ready for me. Don’t deny us what we both want. Especially when we only have a few days left together.”
“You know what I want.” She stares at me with blazing defiance in her eyes.
“I give you more than I’ve ever given anyone else, Wendee.” I’m trying to contain my aggravation and my need to take her. “What more do you want?”
“Everything, Sinn. I want everything.” She stares up at me with heated and hopeful green eyes.
Fucking motherfucking fuck! This woman fucking challenges me and pushes me at every goddamn turn. And when she’s in my arms, looking at me like this, I don’t know why I can’t give her what she’s asking for. A part of me wants to tear off that final mask, that veil that’s separating us from being completely whole together. That gut-wrenching, soul crushing part of me that she makes me feel wants to give in to her demands and befree.
I’m at war with myself and I don’t see an end in sight. All I can do is lean down and claim her sweet, beautiful mouth with mine. My tongue sweeps into her open mouth and clashes violently with hers. She kisses me back just as fiercely; all of her frustration and anger being expressed with lips and tongue and teeth. Her hands bunch in my shirt, pulling me harder against her, even though we can’t get any closer.
She breaks the kiss, gasping for air. “I want to see you, Sinn. Please, give me something.” She’s looking up at me, pleading with her words and her eyes.
We stare at each other, her eyes searching mine for
something. What, I don’t know. But I want to give it to her. Whatever it is she’s trying to find, I want to be the one to deliver it. And in true Wendee fashion, she continues to challenge me as her hands let go of my shirt and slide up my chest, slowly and calmly undoing the first button.
